Ashley Madison dating

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I just found out my (23F) boyfriend (37M) downloaded Ashley Madison while we have been dating. What should I do?

2020.09.18 06:51 throwaway-iguanas I just found out my (23F) boyfriend (37M) downloaded Ashley Madison while we have been dating. What should I do?

Im on a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my regular account, but the title is self explanatory.
To give some background, we met through work and have been dating for a year now. We have been long distance since March due to covid. We both have a history with infidelity, but have continued to promise each other that this was our way of starting fresh and if we wanted to mess around outside our relationship, we would leave rather than cheat on the other. He has been devoted, invested in our relationship, and we talk a lot, from sun up to sun down basically. We are always in tune with what each other is doing and how we are feeling.
My boyfriend and I share a family iCloud account, so while browsing through my historical app purchases, I realized I also had access to his purchases as well. Out of sheer curiosity I opened it, not expecting to find anything out of the ordinary. I saw he downloaded the Ashley Madison app, an app used for married people to connect and have affairs, on June 3, 2020.
I screenshotted the purchase list with the date and confronted him. He said that date was when he restored all his purchases on a new iPad, but that doesn’t makes sense as I looked it up and confirmed it’s the date of first download not last download and no other apps have that same date, which they would if his story was correct.
He continued to tell me he had it in the past long before we were together, but never used it since we have been dating. He showed me his iPad and iPhone which didn’t have the app currently downloaded.
He got defensive and explained he didn’t have the energy, time, or self confidence and he wasn’t looking for other women. He got angry at me for “jumping down his throat” about it, rather than just asking casually about why that was there. We got into a huge argument about it because I know he’s not telling the truth and I don’t think I’m out of line by sending the screenshot and asking for him to explain. He has also since turned off the feature for me to see his purchases.
(The following is pure speculation, read at your own risk) Before I confronted him, I wanted to see if he had an active profile, so I created a fake profile in his area. I didn’t find any pictures, but I saw a profile I thought might be his given it was around the same age and description, but the username was HarveyP. BF is a huge Suits tv show fan (where the main character’s name is Harvey and he has always identified with him) and his first name starts with P. Again, pure speculation, but after I confronted him, I looked again to see if it was still there and the profile has disappeared.
Up until this point, things has been nearly perfect. We have had a few bumps in the road, but nothing out of the ordinary. We have talked very seriously about the future and how we want to be together. I love this man with my whole heart and have stayed loyal and devoted to him, but this crushes me.
How should I handle this? Should I leave or try to stay and work it out?
Thank you in advance, I have always appreciated the kindness and openness of this community.
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2020.09.18 02:25 carpe_diem833 Getting Stuck in a Binge/Purge Cycle

I’m new here & it’s really hard for me to open up about things. I’m in a committed monogamous relationship but I keep finding myself in a vicious cycle of downloading various dating apps (usually tinder & Ashley Madison), talking to a few people & getting a huge rush from it then deleting the apps & proceeding to feel horrible about myself but only until a few days later when I start wanting a new connection & downloading them again. I hate the anxiety & paranoia I feel when I have active profiles but it feels impossible to stop. If anyone has advice on how to get past this & how to find support groups in my area that would be awesome. I’m already in counseling individually.
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2020.09.16 06:55 HeavyArmsJin Private data gone public: Razer leaks 100,000+ gamers’ personal info

Private data gone public: Razer leaks 100,000+ gamers’ personal info
COPY AND PASTED (Full Article in link):
In August, security researcher Volodymyr Diachenko discovered a misconfigured Elasticsearch cluster, owned by gaming hardware vendor Razer, exposing customers' PII (Personal Identifiable Information).
The cluster contained records of customer orders and included information such as item purchased, customer email, customer (physical) address, phone number, and so forth—basically, everything you'd expect to see from a credit card transaction, although not the credit card numbers themselves. The Elasticseach cluster was not only exposed to the public, it was indexed by public search engines.
Diachenko reported the misconfigured cluster—which contained roughly 100,000 users' data—to Razer immediately, but the report bounced from support rep to support rep for over three weeks before being fixed.

This redacted sample record from the leaked Elasticsearch data shows someone's June 24 purchase of a $2,600 gaming laptop.
Razer offered the following public statement concerning the leak:
We were made aware by Mr. Volodymyr of a server misconfiguration that potentially exposed order details, customer and shipping information. No other sensitive data such as credit card numbers or passwords was exposed.
The server misconfiguration has been fixed on 9 Sept, prior to the lapse being made public.
We would like to thank you, sincerely apologize for the lapse and have taken all necessary steps to fix the issue as well as conduct a thorough review of our IT security and systems. We remain committed to ensure the digital safety and security of all our customers.

Why leaks like this matter:
It's easy to respond dismissively to data leaks like this. The information exposed by Razer's misconfigured Elastisearch cluster is private—but unlike similar data exposed in the Ashley Madison breach five years ago, the purchases involved are probably not going to end anyone's marriage. There are no passwords in the transaction data leaked, either.
But leaks like this do matter. Attackers can and do use data like that leaked here to heighten the effectiveness of phishing scams. Armed with accurate details of customers' recent orders and physical and email addresses, attackers have a good shot at impersonating Razer employees and social engineering those customers into giving up passwords and/or credit card details.
In addition to the usual email phishing scenario—a message that looks like official communication from Razer, along with a link to a fake login page—attackers might cherry-pick the leaked database for high-value transactions and call those customers by phone. "Hello, $your_name, I'm calling from Razer. You ordered a Razer Blade 15 Base Edition at $2,599.99 on $order_date..." is an effective lead-in to fraudulently getting the customer's actual credit card number on the same call.
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2020.09.15 23:45 PDXChameleon Security Protocols

TL;DR Strategies to avoid getting caught having an affair.
I got out of my dead bedroom loveless marriage a long time ago. Doing fairly well in my current situation but thought I'd share some strategies I used to maintain several AP's in my previous marriage. Some of these have been shared in various posts before but I wanted to consolidate things here. Before I proceed, I encourage those considering getting an AP to think long and hard about it first. Have you tried to get your spouse to therapy? Have you clearly talked things out? Have you considered how you'd handle the repercussions of getting caught?
The following tips will apply if you are searching to find a partner, as well as if you already have one.
  1. Obviously set up a separate email account.
  2. Use the "incogneto" mode of your browser when visiting dating sites, and clear your browser cache from time to time.
  3. Do your searching, communicating on a different PC than the one you use at home if possible.
  4. Use a messaging app like kik to communicate with others. Don't use texting on your phone. If you do, delete the texts.
  5. Keep in mind that phone call logs can be generally be viewed on your cell phone account on your provider's website.
  6. Keep in mind that text records can be obtained by subpoena for divorce proceedings. Again, use other apps to message partners.
  7. Be extremely careful about allowing others to know that you see someone on the side. Just don't do it. You never know you they will react and how much of a blabber mouth they are when drunk.
  8. Be very gradual in any changes you make in your physical appearance and personal habits (hair changes, loosing weight, new clothes, dental work, etc.)
  9. When around your SO, be conscious of any changes in how much time you spend on your pc or your phone....changes can signal something is up.... have a game running so you can toggle to solidare or backgammon quickly if needed.
  10. Set up a free google voice # to use for phone calls if necessary. Delete call and text history in case this phone # is discovered.
  11. Pay cash when going through tolls. Don't let your auto-payment device pay because that will be tracked by date, time, and location.... could be subpoenaed in court.
  12. Be super cautious about revealing your real name and clear photo to potential partners online. You don't have to lie.... just be honest that you need to maintain security for obvious reasons. Once a certain level of mutual trust is built after a few messages, then disclose more info.
  13. Avoid single people. They don't have anything to loose if they are careless about security measures and your mate finds out about your relationship. Or, if the relationship ends, some can become vindictive. On the other hand, if you have reason to believe you can trust someone you find who is single, then it will save you a bunch of money in hotels if he/she can host your meetings.
  14. Don't use your credit cards for affair related transactions...condom purchases, meals, hotels.... all can be discovered and questioned in reviewing your credit card statement and/or brought up in court.
  15. Don't keep receipts. Trash them someplace other than the trash at your home.
  16. Guard against stray hairs and/or fragrances that can be discovered in your car or on your clothes.
  17. Have an explanation for any changes in your normal schedule. Why are you 2 hours late getting home every tuesday? Avoid a schedule pattern anyway.
  18. Validate changes in your life.... exercising more.... after your annual physical report that your cholesterol is too high or weight, pre-diabetic, etc.... so you need to start going to the gym. Then make sure you do sometimes go to the gym. Are you clothes sweaty after a workout? Don't go home smelling like pussy or perfume/cologne when you said you were at the gym.
Was working late a cover for your date? Then go back to the office and call home to let hehim know you are on the way home from the office ( a true statement). Use the office phone for the call so it shows that in caller ID.
19) Do you always answer your cell or immediately reply to messages when your SO contacts you? Stop doing that. Train hehim to expect that sometimes you don't reply right away.... left your phone on your desk at work or in the car when you went into the mall... let your battery die. Turned your phone off during a meeting and forgot to turn it back on...... this should be a normal part of your lifestyle.... not a change that will be detected.
20) Join and attend events with people that your SO doesn't know. Use these events for cover for time away.
21) Some affair related expenses require the use of credit cards. Buy visa gift cards and don't use your personal credit card. Note that some sites like Ashley Madison are based outside of the USA and most gift cards purchased in usa grocery stores are only good to be used within the borders of the usa. Don't ask me how I know. Read the fine print on how these sites can accept alternate forms of payment.
22) How do you buy these gift cards without it showing up on your statement? Buy a bunch of other stuff to add up to a large grocery bill and that card is buried among all of the other stuff. Destroy the receipt. Don't use your rewards ID either since that account will keep account of all of your purchases. Also, you could just say it is for a bday or holiday gift for a relative that you would normally send a gift to.
23) Use cash. How to you explain the cash withdrawal? Don't use your bank. In stead, buy stuff at CVS, or Walgreens, or anyplace that lets you make "debit" purchases. Then get cash back. Accumulate that cash over time to pay for what you need. Buy something at home depot or lowes. Make it a debit purchase. Wait a few days and return it. Instead of refunding to the card, just ask for cash. This won't work for a credit purchase.
24) Always have plausible explanation for things. The person your SO's cousin saw you with is a realtor and you had been talking about finding an investment property.
25) Don't explain too much. Overcompensating by having too much to say is a signal of deception.
26) Be ready to let your AP know that you have to take a break for a couple of weeks or more if your SO starts to get suspicious. Then keep doing the stuff you said you were doing....gym, working late, shopping, etc.
27) Don't get a traffic or parking ticket at a time or location outside of your normal patterns.
28) I don't recommend it but if you are going to your AP's home, then carry in a toolbox, or Avon bag or something that can be explained to a nosy neighbor.
29) Turn off the cell phone location tracker on your phone. If your spouse asks why, then share your conspiracy theory concerns about the government tracking everyone or some other bs.
30) You can consider getting a separate credit card for your extra curricular activities. Keep in mind that the statement must not be mailed to your home where the spouse can find it. Also note that if you ever have to pull your credit report then this card will be listed and your spouse may ask about it. Also, how would you make payments to this card without leaving a digital trail of that payment from an account your spouse monitors.
31) You can rent a hotel/motel room for just one night and pay cash. However they may put a hold on your credit card for 24-48 hours. It is risky to do this on your personal card. You can try using a visa gift card.
Edit: 32) Have your dates away from your normal patterns of travel: next town or two away. This reduces the chance that someone you know will see you out with your AP. Better yet...don't go out in public with your AP or at least no PDA's. You don't want your car or your face recognized by anyone in the circle of your friends and family.
If you make it this far, thanks for reading. This list is not comprehensive. Others will surely be able to add some additional info or add detail to things I failed to make clear.
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2020.09.08 16:14 Aggravating_Trip_221 Am I in the right place?

TLDR: Wife has given permission for me to sleep with other women, how do I do it? Is swinging for me?
Sorry, long post ahead. I'm in an unusual situation, at least for me. I'm married, been together over 7 years, and we both still love each other, but our sex life has completely disappeared. Intimacy is an occasional snuggle and a kiss before we go to sleep.
It's not like we were ever madly at it 3-4 times a week. Probably twice a month is as frequent as it has ever been, but it's non-existent now. We've been to a couples therapist and identified things we can do to improve the situation, and it worked for a bit, but we never really made any massive improvement.
The main underlying issue is that my wife has a long history of sexual trauma. She was sexually abused as a teenager and later went into sex work. As a result she has C-PTSD, which is why she finds it so hard to be intimate. I would prefer sex more frequently, but I accept that once or twice a month is probably as frequent as it will be right now, and I'd rather have that than not have her at all.
She's had therapy on and off for the last 5 years really, with the hope that it might resolve some of the issues and bring us closer, but just recently she's started some intense therapy which is unearthing all the trauma and actually making it harder for us to be intimate. This is expected to go on for some time, it's not a quick fix, it's real hard work.
I'm finding it really hard to cope with the total lack of intimacy. I understand it logically, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear. I feel like I'm not a sexual being. I feel invisible sometimes, just undesirable. It feels pointless working out because there's no-one to appreciate it. I strip completely naked before bedtime, have a quick look in the mirror and maybe flex a bit to admire my progress, and she doesn't bat an eye.
We have pretty good communication about this, and more generally. She understands how I feel, she feels guilty that she married me when she wasn't able to give me what I needed sexually. She is worried that I will leave her, and has said that I could have sex with someone else if it will fill that void. She's said this a couple of times before and I've never really given it much thought because I always thought things would get better, and it's not necessarily just sex that I want, but intimacy with *my* wife.
Recently, this came up again. She confirmed that she's serious. I can have sex with another woman, but she doesn't want to know anything about it.
I don't know how to go about finding someone who would be involved with me in this sort of situation. I don't want my picture on any of the standard dating sites, because I don't want people to think I'm cheating on my wife. I also don't want her to have to explain what's going on. I stumbled across the idea of swinging websites, as it's often people knowingly having sex with other people who are in relationships. It seems more appropriate to my situation.
It seems impossible to get anywhere on the site though. I'm a guy looking for a unicorn, among thousands of other guys looking for the same thing. I'm not 'in the lifestyle', I'm not looking to go to events, I've never done this before so I'm not 'verified'. My wife doesn't want to know anything about what I'm up to, so it's not like I can have women call her to prove that I'm not cheating. I haven't put a picture up yet either, but I'm coming around to the fact that I might just have to to be noticed.
And what's the etiquette? Everyone's posting nudes, listing their fetishes and they're on a site designed for facilitating sex with strangers, but you can't message people about sex first, you have to make a connection? It's such a minefield. How soon is too soon to bring up sexual themes? How long do you have to 'put in the work' getting to know someone, establishing a connection. I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for sex with someone whom I could tolerate post-sex conversation with, who's discrete, and is also only after sex.
Is that possible? If swinging or swinging websites aren't the right place to look, what are the alternatives? Don't say Ashley Madison, I don't want to help anyone else cheat. I'm totally against the ethics of cheating. If swinging is the right place, how do I fit in?
submitted by Aggravating_Trip_221 to Swingers [link] [comments]

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2020.08.29 18:03 HaulA29Augl G-ay Da-ting Fir-st D-ate

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2020.08.22 07:57 NissaTheSerene I have had 2 N exes over the last 3 years, both have cheated on me. Fml

Nex 1 told me he was going on a “dating site for palyamoury” to find us “a threesome partner” I did not consent for this. He just started browsing on websites
Ol naive me didn’t really comprehend that the “dating “website “Ashley Madison” is strictly for infidelity — he explained it as a polyamory website.
Before I questioned him further he created this elaborate distraction tactic where he told his mom all about it (also outing me out of the BI closet)
He also was super super obsessive about me apparently cheating on him. At the end of the relationship he kept accusing me of cheating on him. It was also a tactic he used to control me. I talked to my therapist and this is classic narcissist projecting behavior. He was the one cheating so he obsessively blamed me of cheating to make him look innocent and the victim
Nex 2 tried triangulating in our 3 month monogamous relationship. Once I put and end to it he continued to stalk me for at this point now YEARS. A friend of mine looked him up on social media and it shows he’s in a monogamous relationship yet he continues to remain active on dating websites, still sends me creepy messages, and will try to flirt with me on said dating websites (I respond by immediately blocking him)
I’m starting to realize based off of his patterns that he was likely cheating and it checks out since he obviously doesn’t give cheating any second thoughts
So iv been trying not to think about this BUT I just need to feel the emotions of what happened. I’m MAD FuRIOUS. I have so much rage and I don’t know what to do with it...what do I do with these emotions? I’m just so angry but I need a productive way to move foward
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2020.08.16 21:17 notso_divine_goddess I cheated. Pretty much hate myself every single day for it.

The title is exactly the truth. I cheated on my husband. This happened almost 7 years ago but I carry it with me like it happened yesterday. My ex husband and I had been together for just over 8 years, married for 5 of those years. I wouldn’t say we were ever in love. At least, I wasn’t with him. When we got married, I had just found out I was pregnant with our second child. We got a lot of pressure from friends and family to “just get married already”. So we did. Although I wasn’t madly in love with him, I knew he was a good man, a wonderful father and would always be good to our kids. I told myself that crazy, fiery love that you see in movies was overrated and that I would grow to love him in time. I never really did. If anything, I found myself resenting him more and more. But we had a good life. He was a good provider, a hard worker and for the most part, we got along ok. We looked like the idyllic family of 4. But we were growing farther and farther apart over the years. We still did things together as a family and it looked good on the outside. But I had started to veer off into my own world and so did he. The last year of our marriage was miserable. He slept in the guest bedroom and was gone all day at work. I started to notice I dreaded 5 o’clock when I knew he’d be home soon. We fought, a lot. Around this time, I had made a new friend. She was also married with kids. After a few months of friendship she had confided in me she had been cheating on her husband for years. She said it kept her marriage “tolerable” to have these passion filled dalliances on the side. She introduced me to a site called Ashley Madison and I ended up meeting a man (John) who was also in a loveless marriage. I know I should’ve ended my marriage first but I didn’t. I’ll spare you the details but I truly believed at the time John and I were soul mates. I fell so deeply in love with him, like nothing I’d ever experienced before and I allowed myself to be consumed with him. I ended my marriage, broke up my family. John and I were together a year. He moved in with me shortly after my husband left. Then a year later, while my children and I were visiting my parents, he moved out. Stealing a lot of my stuff, draining the bank account and leaving me with a lot of bills that we had racked up over the year. It was incredibly painful. I honestly did not think I was going to survive the heartache.
Then one day I realized- I DESERVED the pain and what he’d done to me. And I STILL DO. Every bad thing that happens to me, I know it’s because of what I did. It’s been 7 years and I still feel just horrible about it. I was thinking of no one but myself at the time. Not my husband and definitely not my children and their well being. A few years back, I sincerely apologized to my ex husband for all I put him through and he has graciously forgiven me. And I am so very happy that he has found someone that will treat him like a king and will never do what I did to him. He wasn’t perfect by any means but he still did not deserve the pain and heartache I caused him. His new wife is amazing to me and my children and I genuinely love her dearly. She is a much better fit for him than I would ever have been and if there is any silver lining to this story, that’s it. We all co-parent very well together and get along great. Our children are well taken care of and seem happy. I have a really good job and am able to provide them with a nice home and the material things they want and need. They are wonderful kids, do well in school, are well liked by their peers and they know they are loved by all of us. We all put away any animosity long ago and put their well being first and foremost.
But I will NEVER forgive myself. I guess I could use the excuse I was so emotionally starved for affection and love but it would just be a rationalization for my actions. I carry the guilt and shame of my actions from all those years ago and still cannot believe I allowed myself to do what I did (I had never cheated on anyone before and never in a million years thought I would).Now, I do not date. I do not get involved with any men in any way even though I am asked out fairly frequently. Every now and then I meet a truly nice man and consider it and then I remember I don’t deserve the love and affection of anyone, let alone a man. Every bad thing that has happened to me in life since then (and there’s been a lot) I welcome because I know this is my karmic retribution. I’m just over 40 now and I know I have a lot of years left to sit with this. I just take it day by day. My friends say I need to forgive myself. Learn from it and let it go. I have learned from it definitely and work every day to be kinder to people and I do anything and everything I can for the people I love. But I just don’t think I will be able forgive myself for this. I’ve never truly shared this in depth with anyone before. Usually when people ask why we divorced, I just say that we grew apart. Never really admitting to what I did and that it was my fault. If you knew me in real life you’d never guess this about me. I have a lot of friends, considered attractive and well put together. I am well liked (I think lol) and normally always the one with a big smile on my face for everyone. It’s ok if you hate me after all this. Trust me, I hate me too.
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2020.08.16 13:41 Alertedagent43 Find another partner

Me and m my wife after a year of talking about it have decided to open up our marriage. Now we’ve been together almost a decade now and haven’t attempted dating like this in a long time. So we both did the first thing that came to our heads. We turned to dating apps.
Now I wasn’t expecting to get a lot of responses but I was hoping for a few likes or to message a bit. I don’t seem to get any messages on them but it seems to be working for my wife. We’re both on tinder, ok Cupid, pof, and feeld and I’m not even getting a like from scammers lol. Even tried Ashley Madison.
So my question is am i approaching this all wrong. Should I try and connect with someone in real life? I haven’t dated someone else in a long long time and I think I may be a little rusty/not up to date. Any help from the community would be appreciated.
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2020.08.14 21:51 Labatt10Point1 Created an alt account and ready for this. Looking for help/advice on getting started.

A little background. I’m happily married with a 2 kids. I love my wife and consider her my best friend. Thing is, that’s all she is. There is just almost zero physical contact since we had kids. And if there was, it was only timed in order to reproduce. I try to initiate it once it awhile, but just get brushed off. And it’s not just sex either, it’s zero physical contact including holding hands, cuddling and forget about kissing. Unfortunately, now the physical connection from both sides is just long gone. I’m someone that has a very high sexual drive, so I’m starting to go crazy day by day. Sure, people tell me to just wank it and move forward. It’s worked in the past, but not anymore. I just need all of it now.
I’ve signed up for Ashley Madison at the same time as joining this sub. It’s only been a day, so no luck on there. I’ve never really tried online dating so it’s all new to me. And not dating for the past 10 years really got me out of the loop. One of my biggest concerns is that I’m also a southeast asian man, so we’re not exactly the pick of the litter when it comes to online dating. I did have girlfriends, ONS and FWB in the past so I can’t be that unattractive.
Can anyone offer any advice or experiences on how you started your current journey? How long did it take and is there any hope out there?
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2020.08.06 03:37 EmmaofHatfield Why are there so many of them? A very, very abridged introduction to the Duggars

Greetings All,
In the past few days, the mod team has noted increased growth in this sub. With that being said, I thought it might be useful to post a (very) abridged summary of the Duggars, their beliefs, and why we snark on them. Warning, this will be long, even though it's really just an introduction. This is far from comprehensive--it's just intended to get new snarkers up to speed.
First thing's first: Who are the Duggars, and why don't we like them?
(Note: unless otherwise indicated, all information comes from the Duggar fundiewiki page, or the page for the named individual).
The original Duggars, at least for our purposes, are wedded pair Jim Bob and Michelle. Jim Bob Duggar was born in 1965 to a family with two children. He remained very close to his mother, Mary, until her death last year. His wife, Michelle Duggar, was born in 1966 the youngest of seven children. She was not raised in a particularly religious family and was a cheerleader before she experienced a conversion as a teenager. Jim Bob initially met Michelle on a church visit and became infatuated with her. As luck would have it, she applied to work at a yogurt shop owned by Mary Duggar, Jim Bob’s Mom. He persuaded his mother to hire Michelle. Jim Bob then asked Michelle out to his "Senior Banquet," which happened early in the fall. They were engaged by Christmas and married that summer. Michelle was just 17, while Jim Bob had just turned 19.
As most people know, the Duggars later went on to have 19 children, but they weren't ultra-religious when they married, just run-of-the-mill Baptist (similar to how Jim Bob grew up). They used contraception in the form of the pill, and Michelle had their first child, Josh, in 1988. She was 21.
Shortly thereafter, Jim Bob and Michelle attended a "financial freedom" seminar affiliated with the Institute in Basic Life Principles/Advanced Training Institute, Bill Gothard's ultra-fundamentalist, Baptist offshoot. (Advanced Training Institute is the homeschooling arm of the overall organization of IBLP). Bill Gothard was later ousted amid dozens of sexual assault allegations against him by young women whose families were part of IBLP, most of them teens at the time.
IBLP proscribes extreme modesty standards (long hair for women, women cannot wear pants, should be covered at least elbow to knee at all times), hardcore traditional gender roles, homeschooling, and completely eschewing secular media and pastimes. IBLP also forbids birth control. Jim Bob and Michelle had experienced a miscarriage shortly after they had Josh, and due to becoming involved in IBLP came to believe that the pill caused their miscarriage. JB and Michelle subsequently decided to forgo birth control altogether. Shortly thereafter, they conceived twins, and their journey to 19 children began.
The Television Shows:
The Duggars rose to fame via a series of specials on their large family aired by the TLC network. The specials started in 2004, when Michelle was pregnant with their fifteenth child, Jackson. The TLC specials eventually morphed into a full-blown reality t.v. series (first 17 Kids and Counting, up to 19 Kids and Counting) that was canceled following the Josh molestation scandal mentioned below, only to be resurrected in a very similar form in late 2015. Josh still does not appear on the new show, Counting On.
Sources who claim to be close to the Duggar family have stated that the Duggar's current, massive house, which they moved into in early 2006 after years of living rent-free in a tiny church rental with three bedrooms, was paid for almost entirely by TLC, and that the network convinced its sponsors to donate virtually all the furniture and appliances in the house. TLC also allegedly needed to tear out all of the work that JB attempted to do himself, with the help of his sons. They'd initially planned on building the house on their own. This source also claims that the free church house where the Duggars lived for many years was condemned once they moved.
Courtship Rules:
Aside from having so many children, the Duggars are perhaps best known for their ultra-strict dating rules (the Duggars refer to their "dating" process as "courting.") Couples are not permitted to kiss until their wedding day, and the man in the relationship must approach the girls' father for permission. Courting couples must be chaperoned at all times and are usually not allowed to even hold hands until they are engaged. These extreme rules sometimes result in absurd conduct, such as when Kendra Duggar was not allowed to grab onto Joe for balance as they went rollerblading during their first date, or when she was too afraid to let Joe touch her waist during their engagement photos. Similarly, Jim-Bob allowed his daughter, Jessa, to side-hug her now-husband for a limit of three seconds just after they officially began courting.
Below are the Duggar spawn, listed in age order:
The Duggar Children
Josh Duggar, age 32:
Known for being married to his wife, Anna Keller Duggar, with six children. He is also notorious for having moved to D.C. to work as a conservative lobbyist, only to be ousted when it came to light that he had molested several young girls when he was a teenager, including four of his own sisters. Intra-family sexual abuse was apparently common in IBLP/ATI families, which makes sense given that Bill Gothard taught that sexual abuse is the fault of the victim due to dressing or acting immodestly, or do to rebelling against authority. (He even wrote homeschooling materials that he released far before Josh's scandals about a brother who molested his toddler-aged sisters because they dressed immodestly, and because he was forced to do female work--a.k.a. changing diapers). Shortly after Josh's molestation came to light (via an exposé in inTouch magazine), Josh's name was leaked during the infamous Ashley Madison adultery website app. Josh admitted to being addicted to pornography and being unfaithful to his wife. He and his brood scooched back to D.C. His wife stayed with him, and they have had two children since the scandal. They appear to live on the Duggar compound currently.
Jana Duggar, 30:
Known for constantly taking care of her younger siblings from an inappropriately young age, Jana is also known for being a spinster, aka unmarried over the age of 24.
John-David Duggar, 30:
Jana's twin. He married in late 2018 and now shares one daughter with his wife, Abbie. He is a pilot, which is apparently the only interesting fact about him--he has centered his entire life, down to his wedding and engagement, around aviation.
Jill Dillard, 29:
Known in the early days as the Duggar golden daughter who followed her parents' rules to a T, Jill stopped appearing on her family's current show, Counting On, after the birth of her second son, Samuel, in mid-late 2017. Nobody knows exactly what happened during the birth, but unlike all of the other recent Duggar births, it was not televised. We do know that Jill needed emergency c-sections with both of her sons, after attempting homebirths with little traditional medical monitoring or assistance.
Many people initially believed that Jill and her husband, Derick, stopped appearing on Counting On after he made a series of transphobic tweets in 2017, but it appears that they had stopped filming before that incident. Jill and Derick now have a rift with Jill's family, and Jill has moved away from her ultra-strict upbringing to some degree, including by sending her oldest son to public school (which is a huge no-no among strict fundamentalists, who more or less view public schools as socialist indoctrination camps). She also "only" has two children, with her youngest being three already, and her husband is in law school.
I wrote this post, which goes into much more detail about the potential source of the rift, if you are interested.
Jessa Seewald, 27:
Jessa, known by some as the "hot Duggar" (though many dispute whether Jessa is indeed the "hot Duggar," but I digress) is married with three children. Like her sister, Jill, Jessa has embraced homebirths, and they have not gone well. She has experienced severe hemorrhages during two of her births. All three of her births have taken place on a couch in the Seewald home.
Now that Jill is on the outs, Jessa appears to be the fundie golden child--or at least, that's what many speculate.
Jinger Vuolo, 26:
Jinger married a preacher named Jeremy with a slightly less strict religious background from her. The two were married for nearly two years before Jinger had their first child, and will not have their second child (Jinger is currently pregnant) until after their first turns two. This does not sound remarkable, but it is unusual for the Duggars.
Unfortunately, Jeremy is a blowhard who is not very sensitive to Jinger's difficult, extremely strict upbringing. This just scratches the surface of the problems with Jeremy, who is generally seen as arrogant, fame-hungry, and self-absorbed.
Joseph Duggar, 25:
Joe is married to teen bride Kendra Caldwell Duggar, who become the mother of his first child when she was just 19. They now have two children and live on a house in the Duggar compound. Joe is more sensitive than the other Duggar boys, and seems comfortable crying in public. However, he and Kendra are also perceived as being extremely dim-witted, earning them the nicknames "Simple Joe" and "Giggles."
Josiah Duggar, 23:
Josiah, who turns 23 this month, is married to another Duggar teen bride, Lauren Swanson. They share one daughter. Josiah is often seen as a frustrated rebel, as he was known to have a secret social media account that he kept from his family. Many suspect he was married off by coercion in an attempt to quell this kind of behavior. His wife, Lauren, is seen as petty and rude. Lauren experienced an early miscarriage at the start of their marriage, and became obsessed with the loss. Even though the pregnancy was only about a week along, she gave it a name and a gender and even had a "big brother" cake for this unborn child at her baby shower. This has changed somewhat since her daughter was born in November.
Joy-Anna Duggar, 22:
The first Duggar-born teen bride, Joy-Anna married her childhood friend, Austin Forsyth, at 19. They had their first son nine months later, and then quickly became pregnant again. Unfortunately, Joy experienced a stillbirth in the summer of 2019. She is now expecting again, with her due date being in the middle of this month. Austin and Joy, who embody many "country" stereotypes, are often questioned about their lackluster parenting tactics. Derick Dillard, Jill Dillard's husband, has claimed that they have also chosen to stop filiming for the Duggar family show recently. This is not confirmed.
Jedidiah (21) and Jeremiah (21):
Twins, and the eldest single Duggar children save for Jana, who I suspect will never marry. Jed is a wannabe politician who is running for local office under a radical conservative and religious platform. Himself and his brother live in a small house outside the Duggar compound, albeit not far away.
Edit: I originally left the following biographies blank. Jed/Jer through Jordyn are often known as the "Lost Kids" since nobody remembers who they are, including perhaps their parents. I did try to add a little bit on each one later, though.
Jason (20)
Once fell into an orchestra pit. Potentially connected to Kendra (Caldwell) Duggar's younger sister.
James (19)
Also potentially romantically connected to Kendra (Caldwell) Duggar's younger sister. People joke that he looks eerily like the non-fundie Duggar cousin, Amy. Some have joked that she is actually his mother.
Justin (17)
Potentially pre-courting someone.
Jackson (16)
Known for being left out of his older brother's activities. He used to be very close to Johannah, but they seem less close now. Some speculate that the Duggars don't permit opposite-sex siblings to be close.
Johannah (14)
Nearly fifteen--that means almost courting age! Also known for being forced to take care of her younger siblings, like her sisters before her.
Jennifer (13)
Like Jordyn below her, known for being forgotten by her parents. Poor Jenni is also known for often looking miserable.
Jordyn (11)
Known for being forgotten.
Josie (10):
Josie is known for being a "miracle" who was born nearly four months prematurely, and yet survived. She is often babied by the family and seen as Michelle's favorite.
The Duggars also have permanent custody of Michelle's grand-nephew, Tyler. She and Jim-Bob filed for emergency custody of him because his mother was not able to care for him. Tyler is 12. He is often referred to as J'Tyler here.
Sorry if this comes off as rushed--I tried to finish it quickly, given the influx of new users here. Happy Snarking!
submitted by EmmaofHatfield to DuggarsSnark [link] [comments]

2020.07.30 21:19 ghtuy Stats I Compiled Because I Was Bored: USLC Player Nationalities

Guess who's been Ultra-Instinct levels of bored? Me. Guess who skimmed every club's Wikipedia article, cross-referenced with Transfermarkt, and curated a spreadsheet of player nationalities by club? Also me.
Disclaimer: This post is really, really long. If you don't want to appreciate my hours upon hours of research, spread over a week as I slaved away over a hot keyboard, turn back now.
Methodology: Basically I used the Wiki entries for nationality, which uses FIFA international allegiance, or place of birth for those without a call-up. Derived statistics include the total number of players across the 35 clubs, the total number of clubs that employ players of that nationality, and the total number of different nationalities at each club. I did not include players at 2-teams who are under contract with the MLS parent organization. I did, however, include academy signings. (Correct as of 7/24)
  • The club with the most distinct nationalities is El Paso Locomotive, with 15. They also have the fewest American players, at 5. Their roster includes 5 Americans, 3 Englishmen, 2 Mexicans, and 1 each: Canadian, Jamaican, Brazilian, Irish, Scottish, Cameroonian, Colombian, Spaniard, DR-Congolese, Haitian, Dutch, and Belgian.
  • In the reverse, the least-diverse (in terms of nationality) is LA Galaxy Jr. with just 5 nations represented. 20 Americans, 2 Mexicans, and 1 each Ghanaian, Liberian, and Sierra-Leonean.
  • El Paso, Pittsburgh, and Tampa Bay each have 12 nations represented by just 1 player in their squad, more than any other teams. These aren't necessarily the only players of their nation in the league, but speaking of which...
  • No less than 37 nations have just one player across all 35 USLC clubs. That means that ~44%, or almost half the nations represented, have just 1 player. The next 37 nations, which range from 2 to 8 players, represent 154 individuals.
The remainder of the post will highlight these 37 players who are either the only players in the USLC from their respective countries, or the only ones who play for that country, due to FIFA eligibility rules. A player could theoretically be eligible to play for 8 different national teams, if: all 4 grandparents, both parents, and the player were all born in different countries, and the player has held residency for 5 years after turning 18 in yet another country. But anyway...
Afghanistan: David Najem (New Mexico Utd.)
  • Originally from New Jersey, Najem only recently debuted for Afghanistan, so far making 3 appearances. He and his brother Adam are eligible through their father. Both David and Adam played in the USLC last season, but with the latter's move to the Polish league, David is the only Afghan international in the league.
Albania: Vangjel Zguro (FC Tulsa)
  • Hailing from the city of Pogradec, Tulsa's left wing-back (?) started at his hometown club, followed by several short stints at other domestic teams. He first moved abroad in 2019 with USL1's Chattanooga Red Wolves; he has yet to debut for his current side, or his national team.
Andorra: Joan Cervós (Colorado Springs Switchbacks)
  • Though I haven't checked exhaustively, I suspect that Colorado Springs' left-back is the first Andorran player for a professional U.S. team. Even if he's not, he's almost certainly the first Andorran goalscorer in professional American soccer. He received his first international call-up in 2018, becoming first-choice and taking part in 16 of 19 games since then for the small Iberian nation.
Austria: Daniel Fischer (Saint Louis FC)
  • The young left-back came up through the youth system of Austrian side SKN St. Polten, he played college ball for Young Harris in Georgia, spending a summer with Cincinnati Dutch Lions in the PDL. At 23 years of age, he's yet to appear for his current club.
Azerbaijan: Rufat Dadaşov (Phoenix Rising)
  • The only current player from the countries in the Caucusus, Dadaşov spent his entire career around the German lower leagues, before moving to Phoenix before this season. He made an impact immediately, netting a hat trick in their first game of the season and assisting one against OCSC. He's also played 24 matches for his country, netting 5 goals (all against red-and-white flags: Qatar, 2 vs Malta, Northern Ireland, and Bahrain).
Belgium: Chiró N'Toko (El Paso Locomotive)
  • Though born in Kinshasa, Zaire, N'Toko holds Belgian citizenship, the only such individual in the USLC. The 32-year-old moved to El Paso for the 2019 season, and has become club captain. Most of his career has been in the Netherlands, with short stints in his home Belgium, England, and Slovenia.
Bermuda: Zeiko Lewis (Charleston Battery)
  • Though not technically an independent country, Bermuda is a full member of FIFA, and Battery forward Zeiko Lewis is the only of that island currently in the USLC. A USL veteran, Lewis played for the Bermuda Hogges, Real Boston Rams, and Energy Drink Jr. before spending the 2018 season in Iceland, returning to the league with Charleston in 2019. A senior international, he has 26 caps and 9 goals to date, including a hat trick against Dutch possession Sint Maarten.
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Robert Kristo (North Carolina)
  • Born in Bosnia but raised in St. Louis, Robert Kristo translated a successful collegiate career into spells in the Italian Serie C and the 3. Bundesliga. Joining the artist formerly known as the RailHawks, he's scored 12 in 30 since the start of 2019. He hasn't been called up to the national team to date.
Bulgaria: Vilyan Bijev (Sacramento Republic)
  • The Bulgarian midfielder, raised in California, has had something of a journeyman career. With youth spells at California Odyssey and Liverpool, he spent time on loan in Germany and Norway. He spent time back in Bulgaria, moving to Portland Timbers Jr., but he's spent more time at Republic than any previous team. Eligible through his residence, he's capped at youth levels for both the United States and Bulgaria, but is yet to make a senior appearance for either.
Burundi: Chancel Ndaye (Las Vegas Lights)
  • Born in Bujumbura, the 21-year-old right-sided defender moved to Las Vegas before the start of the season from the Czech Republic. Despite his age, he debuted for his nation at the Under-20 level at 17, and the senior level aged 19. His caps are in the U-20 AFCON, senior CECAFA Cup, and a friendly against Djibouti.
Cabo Verde: Steevan Dos Santos (Pittsburgh Riverhounds)
  • The Cape Verdean striker joined Pittsburgh ahead of the previous season, where he played nearly every game, scoring 10 and assisting 6 as they won their conference. The 30-year-old had a diverse career before coming stateside. Starting off at hometown club CS Mindelese, he spent a spell in Norway with Ull/Kisa before 2 seasons with Angolan side Progresso. He played briefly for Rochester Rhinos and Ottawa Fury, before becoming a key player at his current club.
Congo: Brunallergene Etou (Charlotte Independence)
  • Though born in Brazzaville, defensive midfielder Etou began his career in France, playing for lower-league sides Drancy, Le Havre Reserves, and Mont d'Or before "going pro" with Ligue 2 side Béziers. He joined Charlotte ahead of this season, and made his debut in their opening win against Sporting Kansas City Jr. Aged 26, he has yet to break into his national team.
Côte d'Ivoire: Jean-Christophe Koffi (Memphis 901)
  • The young midfielder hails from Côte d'Ivoire's capital city, Abidjan. After moving to the U.S. in childhood, he spent time in D.C. United's youth setup, before a collegiate career at University of Virginia. He joined Energy Drink Jr. for last season, starting 26 of his 27 appearances, before joining Memphis ahead of this season. He is not capped internationally at any level, but could potentially play for either his birth nation or the U.S.
Curaçao: Ayrton Statie (Reno 1868)
  • Born in the Dutch Caribbean island of Bonaire, the left-back plays internationally for Curaçao. I couldn't specifically find information regarding his eligibility; Bonaire is a municipality of the Netherlands, which is a constituent country in the Kingdom of the Netherlands along with Aruba, Curaçao, and Sint Maarten. Bonaire has a team, but it isn't a FIFA member. It's confusing. Nonetheless, after playing in the Dutch second division and briefly in Azerbaijan, Reno brought him in for the 2020 season. He has yet to appear for the Nevadan team.
Dominican Republic: Rafael Díaz (Sacramento Republic)
  • Backup goalkeeper for Sacramento Republic, Rafael Díaz has spent his entire career in the lower leagues of American soccer. From the PDL and NPSA, he moved to Energy Drink Jr., playing 21 times in the league across 3 seasons. Since joining Sacramento in 2018, he's played 8 times across all competitions. Uncapped internationally, he's nearly a decade younger than his nation's first two choices, so there's still hope!
French Guiana: Thomas Vancaeyezeele (Pittsburgh Riverhounds)
  • Born in Caen in France, Vancaeyezeele spent his youth career with his hometown club, having short spells at lower-league French and Spanish sides before attending the University of Charleston. He played for the now-defunct Florida Adrenaline, and Mississippi Brilla, before joining Pittsburgh following a trial spell. Internationally, he represents French Guiana, eligible through his grandparents. Though they aren't a FIFA member as a department of France, they participate in CONCACAF competitions, and he's played in the Nations League.
Grenada: Arthur Paterson (Charleston Battery)
  • A Florida native, Paterson played for Wright State in Ohio, he was passed up by NYCFC and landed at Bethlehem Steel, where he played a single match in 2018. At Charleston ever since, he was an important part of their 2019 playoff push at left-back, scoring 4 and assisting 2 in 23 matches across all competitions. Eligible through his father, Paterson has 9 caps for Grenada, with 4 goals in Nations League play. In his last match against Belize, he ran out as captain.
Italy: Daniele Proch (North Carolina)
  • Somehow, Daniele Proch is the only USLC representative from the great footballing nation of Italy. Coming up through academy systems in the north of his home country, he spent time at Serie D side Dro before playing at Catawba and Duke in the U.S. Signing with NCFC ahead of this season, it's his first fully professional contract. The forward debuted in the season opener, coming on as an 87th-minute substitute.
Lesotho: Napo Matsoso (Louisville City)
  • Originally from Maseru, capital of the small southern African enclaved nation, the 26-year-old midfielder attended and played for University of Kentucky in Lexington. Spending a few summers on loan at Derby City Rovers and Reading United, he was a draft pick for New England Revolution, though he never appeared for the senior team. Joining Lou City from Mississippi Brilla in 2018, he's since appeared 29 times in all competitions, scoring 5 in the USLC. For his nation he's played twice, though not since 2017; Lesotho mainly draws from their domestic league and their neighbor, South Africa.
Malawi: Yamikani Chester (Las Vegas Lights)
  • 25-year-old striker Yamikani Chester played for domestic clubs Tigers and Mighty Wanderers, he signed with Czech side Vyskov, immediately taking a loan spell at North Carolina FC for 2019. At the end of that campaign he signed for LV Lights. To date, he's only made one appearance for the Vegas side, an 86th minute sub in a 2-1 loss to San Diego. He has 10 caps for his national side, but he's been limited to qualification tournaments, as Malawi rarely competes outside regional cups.
Mauritius: Ashley Nazira (San Diego Loyal)
  • Starting out at domestic club Boulet Rouge, he led the league in scoring four of his five seasons. He signed with San Diego ahead of their inaugural season, uniquely becoming the first Mauritian professional in American soccer. However, he has yet to appear for Donovan's side, making the squad just once as an unused substitute. He debuted for the island nation in 2015 aged 20, and has appeared in 16 matches with 7 goals since.
Montenegro: Emrah Klimenta (San Diego Loyal)
  • Montenegrin utility defender Emrah Klimenta was born in Yugoslavia, but is eligible for the modern nation as the successor of the former federal state. Having grown up in the United States, he came through the youth systems of Slovakian side Zilina and FC Ingolstadt of Germany. His entire senior career has been in California, except a brief stint at Reno. From the now-defunct NPSL Bay Area Ambassadors, he found success at Sacramento Republic from 2014 to 2017. After a brief spell at LA Galaxy, he moved back to Sac for the rest of 2018, before helping Reno in their playoff push in 2019. After debuting in 2016, he's racked up 7 caps for his nation.
Morocco: Younes Boudadi (Reno 1868)
  • Born in Ypres, Belgium, Boudadi came up through the youth teams of Bruges before moving stateside for the college game. Spending 2 years each at Boston College and Creighton, he spent summers playing with PDL side Boston Bolts, and NPSL team Laredo Heat. Eligible through heritage (I couldn't find a good source), he's represented Morocco at Under-17 and Under-20 youth levels, most prominently in their appearance at the 2013 U-17 World Cup, helping them win their group before exiting in the round of 16.
Niger: Abdoul Kairou Amoustapha (Loudoun United)
  • Aged just 19, the Nigerien forward joined the DC United reserves earlier this year from Niamey club ASN Nigelec. I can barely find any information on this player, but he hasn't made the matchday squad in either of their games this season. He has, however, made appearances for Niger at Under-17, -20, and -23 levels. He was in the squad for their appearance at the 2017 U-17 World Cup in India. He featured as a substitute in a 4-0 group loss to Spain and started a 2-0 loss to Brazil. Advancing on third-place ranking, he was an unused sub in a round of 16 loss to Ghana.
North Macedonia: Xhelil Asani (Pittsburgh Riverhounds)
  • Though just 24 years of age, left-wingback Asani has built a diverse CV of clubs. Brief stints in lower-league Macedonian teams Napredok, Vellazerimi 77, Bylis Barish, and Metalurg Skopje preceded his first move abroad to Maltese top-flight Pembroke Athleta in 2016, and again to Torpedo Bel-AZ Zhodino in Belarus before returning to his home country with Shkendija. As if that weren't enough, he played briefly at Mash'al Mubarak in Uzbekistan, Mladost Doboj Kakanj in Bosnia, and SKA Khabarovsk in the ass-end of Russia before finally joining the Pittsburgh team before this season. He's made the bench 4 times, but has yet to debut. I'm exhausted after writing that.
Palestine: Nazmi Albadawi (North Carolina)
  • Born in Raleigh, he played for North Carolina schools Wake Tech and NC State, spending summers with the RailHawks' U-23 side. He moved up to the senior team in 2014, appearing over 100 times in all competitions before a move to FC Cincinnati ahead of their final USL season. Scoring 11 in 31 from attacking midfield, he stayed with the Ohioans in their MLS expansion, though he was loaned back to NCFC after one MLS appearance. He made his return permanent before this season, and has captained one of his two appearances this season. Eligible for Palestine through his parents, he's played for the west Asian team 9 times, scoring the winner against Pakistan on his debut.
Paraguay: Erik Lopez (Atlanta United Jr.)
  • On loan from his hometown Club Olimpia, the 18-year-old striker joined the Atlanta reserves on loan just earlier this month, and is set for a permanent move in 2021. He has yet to appear for the club, though in 2019 he appeared 16 times for Olimpia, scoring 4 in the league. He's already played for Paraguay at the Under-23 level, featuring in 2 losses during CONMEBOL Olympic qualification.
Philippines: Niko de Vera (Portland Timbers Jr.)
  • Born in Washington state, young left-back Niko de Vera spent time in the Portland Timbers youth setup before playing 60 games over 3 years at University of Akron. Playing with the Timbers' U-23 team in the PDL, after college New York Energy Drink drafted him, and he played for their USL reserve team in 2018. He returned to the Timbers organization ahead of the 2019 season, playing for the 2-team ever since. Eligible through his father, he was called up for World Cup qualification in 2019. However, he has yet to debut, making the bench just once, against China.
Poland: Dariusz Formella (Sacramento Republic)
  • Hailing from Gdynia on Poland's Baltic coast, left-winger Formella made his professional start at his hometown club, Arka Gdynia in the Ekstraklasa, in the 2012/13 season. He was then employed by Polish giants Lech Poznan from 2013-2018, but with several short loan spells back to Arka, Pogon Szczecin, and Rakow Czestochowa, where he earned valuable playing time. The last of these signed him permanently for 2018/19, but he came stateside and joined Sacramento ahead of 2019. He's played 15 times for them so far, including 2 goals against Tacoma the other week. He's progressed through the Polish national youth levels, appearing for the U-16, -17, -18, -19, -20, and -21 teams. He has yet to make his senior debut.
Russia: Valeri Saramutin (Austin Bold)
  • Born in Camden, New Jersey, he's eligible for Russia through his parents. Aged 25, he graduated Dynamo Moscow's youth academy to debut for the senior team, also playing for the reserve team. On Dynamo's books from 2012-2017, he moved to Dynamo St. Petersburg, playing in the Russian second division in 2017/18 before a brief stint with Veles Moscow in the tier below. He's been with the Texan club since their inaugural campaign, playing 30 games in midfield in their playoff push and their Cup run. For Russia, he's appeared at Under-16, -17, -18, and -19 levels.
Rwanda: Abdul Rwatubyaye (Colorado Springs Switchbacks)
  • Sandwiched between Tanzania and the Democratic Republic of he Congo, the small nation Rwanda only has one player in the USLC. Abdul Rwatubyaye, aged 23, started out in the youth system of Armee Patriotique Rwandaise, one of several major clubs in the capital, Kigali. He made his professional debut at crosstown club Isonga, before moving back to A.P.R., and eventually to Rayon Sports for a season. An MLS prospect, he joined Sporting KC early in 2018, making 2 appearances for the senior team and 1 for the reserves before moving to Colorado mid-season. Since joining the Switchbacks, he's played 25 games at center-back, scoring 4 along the way. Internationally, he's played 25 times, becoming a regular since his debut in 2015.
Serbia: Ilija Ilić (Indy Eleven)
  • Born in Belgrade, Yugoslavia in what's now Serbia, Ilić progressed through the youth teams in his hometown, including a brief loan to third-division side FK Sopot. After a collegiate career at Young Harris, with summer spells at PDL side Ocala Stampede, he joined Louisville City in 2015. He quickly became a regular in attack, with 91 appearances in all competitions from 2015-2018, helping them to two consecutive postseason titles. Joining Indiana's capital team ahead of 2019, he hasn't found the same success, playing just 22 times since. He has not yet been capped by Serbia.
St. Kitts and Nevis: Atiba Harris (Oklahoma City Energy)
  • The oldest player on this list, the 35-year-old defender is a veteran of MLS. After brief employment in Spain at the start of his career, he joined Real Salt Lake for the 2006 and 2007 seasons. Staying in MLS, he was an important player for several teams in one or two-year spells. After a second spell with FC Dallas, playing 84 league games between 2015-2017, he spent the first half of 2018 at Mexican third-tier side Murcielagos, before joining OKC midway through the season. He's become a key player ever since, becoming club captain in 2019 and appearing in nearly every game for them since. He also captains his national team, appearing dozens (I keep seeing conflicting figures, but at least 41) times since 2003. Notably, he scored a hat-trick in the nation's joint-best-ever result, 10-0 over Saint Martin in the Nations League.
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines: Kyle Edwards (Rio Grande Valley Toros)
  • At just 23 years old, the right-sided midfielder has already had a diverse playing career. Starting out at domestic club System 3 aged 16, he moved abroad to Antigua & Barbudan club Grenades from 2015-2017. Concurrent with his college career at Ranger College and UT-RGV in Texas, he played for PDL teams Houston Dutch Lions and Brazos Valley, before signing with RGV Toros ahead of the 2020 season. He's had just 3 of their 5 games this season, but he is a senior international, debuting in 2014, aged 17. He's earned 15 caps, mostly in friendlies, and has yet to score for his nation.
Tanzania: Ally Hamis Ng'anzi (Loudoun Utd.)
  • Born in Mwanza and raised in Dar es Salaam, the 19-year-old midfielder signed for DC United's reserves ahead of the current season. He began his career at domestic club Singida United, he signed for Czech third-tier Vyskov in 2018. His first move to American soccer was a loan spell at Minnesota United, who in turn loaned him to USL1's Forward Madison for 2019, where he played a handful of matches. He has yet to play for his current club. He's represented his nation at Under-17 and U-20 levels. He's also trained with the U-23 team, though hasn't appeared at that level yet.
Togo: Shalom Dutey (Charlotte Independence)
  • The young left-back is in his first professional contract, after playing college ball with nearby Liberty University. Born to Togolese parents and raised in Charlotte, he spent a spell with USL2 side Charlotte Eagles in the 2019 season. At just 22 years of age, I haven't found much information about him. While he hasn't yet played for his USL team, he's earned several honors in his youth career, including high school All-American, and USL2 Southern Conference Team of the Season.
Turks and Caicos Islands: Billy Forbes (Austin Bold)
  • The 29-year-old Turks and Caicos Islander has spent his entire career in the American lower leagues. Coming through Western Texas College and Lubbock Christian University, he played for PDL Mississippi Brilla for a summer after graduation, before moving to now-defunct WV King's Warriors in West Virginia, also of the PDL. He moved to NASL team San Antonio Scorpions for 2014 and 2015, their last two seasons of existence, before moving to Rayo OKC in 2016. He first came to the USL with San Antonio FC in 2017 and 2019, with a season at Phoenix in between. He signed for Austin ahead of this season, making two substitute appearances so far. He debuted for his nation in 2008, appearing 13 times, 8 as captain.
Phew. I started writing this post a week ago today, and a couple players have joined USL clubs since then, but none with unique nationalities. If there's anything to be learned here, it's that A) a lot of these players are defenders, and specifically left-backs for some reason, and B) I should have broken this up into smaller, more manageable pieces. For my next project I'm doing an overview of football in EU overseas territories. Because why not.
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2020.07.30 19:09 TryingToCopeAsWS_BS As a WS and BS.

What do you do when you are the WS and BS?
I want to preface this by saying my husband is a good person. This vent session might not come across that way but he is and I love him. We have a 20 year history that includes an open relationship for the first several years of our relationship before we got married, mixed in with a ton of amazing and loving moments in between then and now and 2 of the greatest children we created together.
My husband (38} and I(38) both stepped out of our marriage that was perpetuated by terrible communication between us and years upon years of physical and emotional neglect from him, which lead to me giving up trying to be intimate (sick of the rejection at that point). After years of being neglected in those ways, pregnant with our first baby, I found out he was talking to women from Craigslist, Tinder, and teenagers (college age but had their sweet sixteen 2 years prior...) that he met in his college classes. I was told when he was confronted, "I have done things that I will take to my grave" "I am a man and I will do what ever the fuck I want when I want." This was also coupled with a very heavy, years long struggle with alcoholism (him).
I tried talking to him and told him that if he was going to go out with people, go on dates, get to know someone new and have an exciting first kiss and potentially fuck someone else, then I will too. He didn't want to hear it and we never really talked about it (when he had a sober moment). That was my fault. I regret not shaking the hell out of him and giving him a choice. Me or them.
Instead, I went on Ashley Madison (suggested/encouraged by my "best friend"...we will get back to that waste of oxygen later in the story). I met and fucked 3 guys and continued to fuck only one of them the whole time I was pregnant (messed up, i know). After I had the baby and went back to work, I met another guy in person that I was talking to when I was pregnant. I stopped fucking the guy that gave me what I needed during my pregnancy and started fucking this new guy. We clicked almost immediately and met up on a monthly basis (sometimes more, sometimes less). 4 1/2 years later we still met up regularly and each time was more hot and heavy as the last. I became addicted. Even thought i loved him, but now I know that was limerence love and I was in a heavy fog for those years.
March of this year, my husband eventually started to pay attention to me and began to finally give me what I was craving from him, that I was getting from this other man. He finally saw the barrier and my truth finally came out, along with more of his own truths. Remember that waste of oxygen earlier in the story? Yup, he told me that 3 years ago him and my "best friend" (that he always claimed to hate) fucked twice. Once in our bed while our then 1 1/2 year old was napping, and another time in hers. They hung out several times within a 2 week span. They even made out on one occasion when she was over our house, while I was putting our son to bed. He then told me about a time right after we got married (back in 2008) that he had a threesome with one of our good friends (M) from high school and some random chick, in our first apartment together while I was away for a weekend. That was apparently the thing that he would have taken to his grave.
That threesome fucked him up because it wasn't consensual, even though he went through with it. He felt obligated and on some level forced, so it messed him up emotionally for years and years and I am sensitive to that, because no one should feel forced to do anything.
I took the role of the WS and didn't even take my feelings as a BS into account until I got one more piece of information. He actually told the waste of oxygen about his threesome and confided in her about his thoughts and very intimate feelings on what happened. He confided in my "best friend" that he (I'll repeat from before) claimed to hate for years. This "best friend" never told me what he confided in her, and continued to encourage and support my infidelity. The friend from high school (the threesome dude) never told me (this man always said i was a friend he loved and i have talked him down from suicide on a few occasions throughout the years, i even cried to him about my husband's neglect, but he never fucking told me this shit). My husband, never told me.
That bit of information took a while to set in. It wasn't until much later then night he told me, basically right before bed that i realized how fucked up his choices were. How hurtful they are. I felt as though my choices were far worse then his this entire time and felt debilitating guilt and hate for myself (still do). But now there are a flood of feelings that I am having a hard time processing. I am also having trouble with the fact that he is on these subreddits to get support and give support to people that have been betrayed. Its not the support that I have a problem with (very happy he has that), its the fact that in not one of his comments or posts does he say that he is also the WS. It feels fake to me and I feel bad for the people giving and getting support to/from him that think he is the victim and me the victimizer when in fact we hold both titles.
He even said in a comment that I had a devil on my shoulder encouraging me to cheat that whole time, but no mention of, that he fucked that devil in our bed and came inside her. He does explain how he treated me in some of his stuff but again, no mention of him fucking my "best friend" or flirting/sexting with teenagers, or trying to meet women in bars, Craigslist, and Tinder. We did talk about that, and he does feel bad omitting that from his stories. He agrees that he needs to be held accountable just like I do.
How do I stay sensitive and supportive to him and his feelings (since I basically had a "boyfriend" for 4.5 years and cheated far more than he did), but also let myself get past the hurt feelings I have from my husband's confessions which prompted my hurt feelings to come to light now? We have chosen to take the steps for reconciliation. Both in IC, we talk a lot and are honest with each other, full transparency with phones, social media, emails, etc not to mention he hasn't drank in over 3 weeks which I am the proudest of and will support his sobriety.
I don't hate my husband by any means. I still am dead set on making this work and hopefully coming out stronger (I feel we already are stronger in some ways). I am just struggling with all of this and needed to say my story to someone other than my biased friends and a therapist that talks about her life more than i talk about mine (found a new therapist to try, hopefully she can give me the help i need).
If you are reading this now, I thank you for taking the time to hear my story and I welcome any feedback. As long as this is, there are details left out because then it would be a friggin novel.
And if my husband is reading this, just know that I love you.
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2020.07.28 16:36 curious_yogaLife Ashley Madison is my Life Coach

So let me just start off by saying a few things... I have never known myself to be pretty or more than average in most ways. I hardly dated. I HATE rejection and my sympathy for that feeling is so strong that I allowed it to override my own physical attraction to someone I thought was mentally interesting and compatible.
Now that we got that out of the way...
Let me tell you about Ashley Madison. She’s a life changer. Her services are free, at least for women. She knows how to help a lady find her confidence and learn some skills that are long overdue.
I met Ashley a couple month ago. It started out as some innocent curiosity and a good distraction from COVID and the death of a family member (sudden but not COVID). I don’t handle tragedy well. After my last failed pregnancy I found myself in a stairwell with a sexy co-worker I had met at the gym. Now I’m remote all day ever day. No seeing him.
Enter Ashley. She reminds me she will keep my secrets every time I log on with her finger over her lips giving me a little “shhhhh... you are safe here.” The first day I write up my profile I have a good bit of detail in it. I even post a picture. I assume this might take some time to meet someone but don’t really know what to expect. I’m sensitive. I’m sensitive to others. This generally doesn’t go well with being vulnerable on the internet. But hey it’s 2020 and Ashley wants me to learn to get over it.
So, here’s what I’ve learned about rejection or should I say... how to spot and/or acknowledge incompatibility. I chatted with quite a few guys. I went into it wanting every conversation to be just what he wanted. I tried to be funny and interesting and teasing. If he was more serious, I was more serious. If he was dirty, I was dirty (within my boundaries). And there were so many options all back to back that I realized... hmmmm I actually enjoy talking to this person and not this person. Holy shit! Maybe I should think about what I want instead of what he wants. Sadly it took me 36 years and 2 marriages to get here but here I am. Now about that rejection thing....How do I tell someone I’m just not that into him? I could ghost but this sub has told me that doesn’t feel better. I hate saying no almost as much as I hate the feeling of rejection even the sympathetic version.
But, Ashley told me it was safe to learn this skill. So, I said.. “I could keep talking but this just doesn’t feel like a match.” See what I did there? I made it his choice? Yeah I know. I coped out. It worked with the first guy. We were constantly not understanding one another and the chemistry even on chat was NOT there. I think he was happy to take the exit. Feeling better about a mutual end of contact, I moved on. And I learned sometimes I really had to say no. It wasn’t until I started meeting people that I really clicked with that I realize the contrast of those who were not compatible. Sometimes it was just an ok chemistry. In the past, I’d hang on. I’d put effort into removing his insecurities and build his confidence. I’d try to be the person he wanted me to be and feel equally satisfied when he wanted me back. I never saw this before but it was manipulative and selfish because I just didn’t want to feel someone else’s rejection that I assumed they’d feel.
I now see that I was projecting my own pain into someone else and maybe doing more harm than good. So, I started actually being honest with myself and being honest with those I spoke with. What a novel idea! It was hard when someone kept trying to chat even after I more directly said, “I don’t want to ghost you so let me tell you, I don’t feel compatible with you and I think you should keep searching.” That is hard for me to say. It’s harder when you get a response back that is not sensitive. Thank you Ashley for allowing that to happen enough times for me to understand why people ghost and to toughen up at a stranger’s comment. I won’t take it personally.
I missed out by not dating. I have Ashley to thank for allowing it to be an option even now. Oh and thank you to all the wonderful single/married men on AM. Thank you to the disrespectful guys who said dumb shit. Thank you to the nice guys that made me feel wanted. Thank you to the endless dick pictures that surprised me (I’m finally getting desensitized to cocks on my screen). There are many beautiful things that have happened since the start of this.
It has been fun Ashley, but I’m going into profile hide mode. On to phase two. Let’s see what else I learn. ;)
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2020.07.28 03:46 curious_yogaLife Here goes nothing

So turns out I’m doing more than lurking. Let me tell you about Ashley Madison and how my husband’s request to be more proactive about finding a woman for our threesome, turned into me meeting a gorgeous and delicious and sexy MAN. Oooops! It’s HARD finding a unicorn. I love my husband to the depth of his soul, but turns out I’m kinda drawn to the tall athletic type. Also, it’s hella easy to be a woman looking for a man on AM. I started talking to just a couple guys and then just a couple more and before you know it I needed a spreadsheet so I didn’t mix up stories of who was who once we started talking on Kik and knowing better than to save conversations. After talking to nearly 60 guys... I think I found a winner. We met at the grocery store yesterday. Lame? You’d think so but it’s the pandemic and it’s the only excuse I have for getting out on a weekend. So pAP agreed to meet me at the grocery store. It’s hard to recognize people in masks but he found me. We had been talking on Kik for a bit. Enough to see each other both psychologically and physically undressed. So, when I saw him I wanted to see if the connection would be as electric in person as I imagined. Mind you, since I was 19 years old, I’ve dated for less than 1 year and it was all before internet dating. So this is all new to me. I’ve always wanted an open marriage but that’s not an option. It’s been discussed and it’s death if I cheat. .... So I’m walking around Trader Joe’s getting handsy with pAP right there in the snack aisle and it feels like I’ve known this guy for a lot longer than 2 weeks. We didn’t hesitate but a second from the moment he found me picking out milk. He’s so tall and his voice is so sexy. It’s better than I even imagined from the pictures. He smells like heaven. If it wasn’t for the extreme heat and melting ice cream I might have played out that little dream in my head of pulling him into my mini van and exploring the man behind the mask. Instead he helped me load groceries and we walked like high schoolers over to his car with our arm around one another and hugged. Never removing a mask. I walked on cloud nine for the rest of the day. We both agreed to meet again. And so... I guess I’m about to do this. I haven’t been with anyone but my husband in 8 years and before that I had a brief single period before being with my ex-husband for 9 years. This is going to be interesting.
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2020.07.28 02:34 ThrowRA2813308004 We worked things out, we lost our baby, she did it again...

While on a military assignment roughly two years ago, I had a rather spicy conversation with the wife while I was out drinking where she steered it around to the idea of an open relationship. At first I was kind of intrigued – before this we’d been talking about several ways in which we could intensify our sex lives together but this was a first – but we decided that it was not something we could “hammer out” over the phone, more something for us to discuss when the assignment ended in a few weeks. Fast forward to just before the triumphant return, and she’s telling me about how one of the guys she has known for a long time ago seemed pretty interested in our opening up, and that she might be teasing him a bit.
Then he stops texting her out of the blue, and she gets worried. I tried to build her up, but it comes out she sent him a few photos shortly beforehand and now she thinks she chased him off. I tried to be supportive, though it did hurt inside to know she’d already pushed that hard, and would make jokes about how that would only reel a guy in and who would stop before they’d really had a chance to do something about what they’d seen in those photos. This continued for a few weeks before it just slips one night as she edges closer and closer toward the question, “But what if he has -already- gotten to do just that?”
She finally came clean to me – when she had went to visit that friend she had slept with him, several times, and she broke down begging me not to leave and ruin our lives together. We were to be married with the whole ceremony and such (the first one was more of an elope) in just a few short months for context. Now I’ve already suffered from one ex-wife cheating on me, and my rule from a young age was “Once a cheat, always a cheat.” Not fair to a lot of people I know, but I was raised up in a home that was fractured by cheating and I never wished to experience it. But she had stood beside so faithfully up until this point, we’d been dating for years, and I forgave it.
To move forward, she said, we just needed to do the open relationship we’d been talking about and then it wouldn’t be so bad – and I agreed thinking perhaps she was right. And I had a little fun myself don’t get me wrong – nothing like what she got but I’m a male and I accept that we’re playing the game on two entirely different difficulty settings. Then it was time for it to stop because we wanted to get serious and start our own family – and call me whatever you like, but I wanted to make sure it was our own kid. We both agreed, and that was that. Until it wasn’t.
She kept in touch with the guys she’d met on Ashley Madison, using that stupid Kik app she still had installed on her phone. It all stopped when she found out she was pregnant though, and it looked like we had finally put everything behind us. Then we lost the baby in a hard way, I won’t give details but it was no a miscarriage. And while she was in recovery she began speaking to them again – “They just need someone to talk to, they are my friends.” Then one day she complained about pains and said she was going to see her mother who lived near the hospital so she could go right in if something happened.
I never heard that she arrived safely and checked with her mom just to see if she had gotten there and laid down – she hadn’t seen her. I tried to call her – no answer. I didn’t see anything about an already reported accident on the route and began to panic that she might be hurt… so I checked the car service app we had. Our vehicle was fine, no codes, and had been parked outside a residence for half an hour well off the beaten path. Finally she answers me after ten or so calls in a row, and jokes that she stopped for food at the big mall nearby and spinning the story about how its been going. I must have answered pretty coldly in turn – I’m normally a really cheerful fellow – because after we got off the phone she texted saying something felt off.
I replied back asking who lived at that address and she flipped out. It was one of her old boytoys, but she just wanted someone to talk to that wouldn’t remind her of the baby and she didn’t do anything and why would I suspect her and how dare I track her and she was feeling better for the first time since losing the baby but I had ruined that. The tirade continued like that, we both calmed down, and once more I tried really hard to see this from her side – and once more I’ve tried to forgive her. The keyword here though is try. I even told her, “If you ever give me another reason to doubt you, I’m out. No letter, no goodbye, just me and my doggo (he is mine) go poof and that’s that when the rent expires.”
She still talks to some of the guys she claims she never got sexual with because they were there for her when the baby fallout occurred and they are ‘true friends’, on the Kik app still, and I agreed it was ok because she was still in a really unstable place as everyone keeps reminding me. But honestly, I’m finding that I’m now checked out of this relationship. Why can’t I just up and go? If not for the whole incident with the baby and that traumatic experience that followed I’d like to think I would have, but now I’ve told her “one more chance” after some story my mother told me, but honestly now I feel like that “one chance” got used up looooong ago and nothing but guilt over the experiences with the baby keep me shackled here. Not to be a broken record, but really, why can’t I just up and go?
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2020.07.22 08:01 SnooCheesecakes8214 Any Luck With Online Dating?

Have any of you tried online dating? I'm 57, never been married, never had a GF. I've tried off and on over the years but never had success. I used to cope lots of ways including with regular visits to massage therapists. Covid's made that impossible, plus I've been furloughed from my day job so no money to do that anyway. A couple of weeks ago, I went back on POF, updated my pics, and even tried Ashley Madison. Some responses by women I didn't find attractive, but I'm thinking who am I to be picky? The women who responded all flaked after a little back and forth. Thinking about trying eHarmony which is supposed to be a pretty good matchmaker; I'm hoping they would find a female version of me, someone who's also been an FA. Anyway, what experiences have you all had with finding a partner on the web?
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2020.07.20 05:35 nataliamayfield reality steve & ashley talk about: matt & tyler's irresponsible pool party, clare's season & which men did not make the cut, and how spoilers will be released this season.

hello everyone!
I thought I would take one for the team & summarize steve and ashley's Instagram live as I cannot post the whole video in its entirety. I will only be posting about the first half. I have to go to bed so if anyone wants to summarize the rest about lucy & colton and nick and steve then go ahead!
on matt & tyler's pool party:
S: maybe i should send a whole fucking box (of masks) down to Jupiter, FL so all those people hanging out at the pool with matt james and tyler cameron can i dunno must a mask on, social distance?
A: I mean, how are they already not careful because they were catching a lot of heat at the beginning 1for calling themselves the quarantine crew, and just not doing things in a safe way, & now they escalated it as things have continued to get worse in Florida, just so irresponsible.
S: for those of you who don't know because some people didn't even know because it's already been deleted you have to find it. some Instagram accounts (doesn't know which ones) doesn't know if they were the hosts of the party or they were just there at the party, but there was a pool party going on in jupiter, fl think it was yesterday and many videos, at least, a 45-second video of it that clearly showed all these people were partying, none had masks on, tyler & matt were there you could go find it was a TikTok video that was put out it wasn't on their Instagram accounts but I guess somebody at the party took the video of it, posted it on TikTok, people saw it, screen recorded it and now going to live forever.
A: there were a couple of accounts were dmming me (doesn't remember them), one was bachelorteadaily23? bachelor clues did a post on it, I can't believe that with their huge platforms they are not taking that more seriously, because it is one thing to do it off social media but you have to be a complete dumbass to think that no one at that party was going to take videos.
S: yeah, in this day and age especially with those celebrity parties in LA they literally tell people that you can't enter until you check your phone at the door. but this obviously wasn't those parties, it looked like. this may be extreme & we don't know everything about it but pretty clear about what was going on. does this potentially hurt matt james bachelor status? would they really yank it from him if he continues to caught in social circles like this with no masks on & lack of social distancing? I am not saying he should or shouldn't I'm just throwing it out there.
A: I think that while it may not hurt his chances in terms of ABC because there has been a lot of disturbing behaviour that other people have displayed in the past that hasn't let ABC not casting them, but at the same time, he cannot go into this being so naive to think that he already has such an uphill battle being the first black bachelor that people are going to be looking for anything to crucify him about and if i was matt i would fly back to new york, the numbers are safe here, yes he will have to quarantine for two weeks if he does that but staying down there only seem like it will get him in trouble. and if he does want to take this seriously he needs to think about what he's doing right now down there.
S: *sighs* I do not know what's gonna happen and it seems like every time he's been down in Florida or you know videos come out of him and Tyler hanging out and this seemed to be the more egregious one because there were so many people, everyone was having fun, it was a pool party but it wasn't a pool party with four people, it was 20-40 people i couldn't really tell seemed like a lot. and girls, look you're allowed to have girls at your party but again the optics of it are terrible.
A: I think the argument here i see like even in the comments it just does not look good that he's hanging around women. I think it's a little unreasonable to say he can't hang out with any girls before becoming the bachelor, however, because of COVID he should just not be around so many people he doesn't know and so not situations like yesterday.
S: yeah cause we don't know what he was doing. the girl situation, again you heard this at the end of the podcast with nick we will get to, trust me I have kind of changed my stance a little bit, actually, i am easing my stance on guys and girls because Jed set the bar so high if you're just sleeping with a girl or hooking up with them, then go on the bachelorette to me unless that girl thinks you're in a monogamous 1-on-1 relationship and you completely ghost her to go on the show then that is an issue (i.e. Jed with Haley) but if it's just two people hooking up I can't expect matt even though he's going to film the bachelor in a month and a half or two, i can't say you cannot hook up kiss, talk to any girl i can't say that to him. go live your life, just be smart enough not to get into a relationship before he jumps on the bachelor that's all i am saying. is it a great look? no, but i can't sit here because there are so many guys, the amount i heard for Clare's season that was seeing somebody or hooking up before they went on the show, they are allowed to you can't tell them not to live their lives. I'm only going to get on someone's case if you literally had a girlfriend and ghosted them, doesn't know where you are and go on the bachelor to look for a wife then you crossed the line.
A: girls do it too. one thing i want to bring up in the comments are saying that we want mike, mike isn't super responsible about COVID on social media either like there are so a ton of people that are showing too much, i mean i would like everyone to abide by the COVID rules, however, when you have that platform and all the people that follow you just don't post about it. i don't want to say this is just matt James there are a ton of idiots on social media.
S: if you want to do it, go out with a bunch of people and not wear masks that's great just don't film it, we can't call you out if you don't show us. but it's almost impossible for bachelor nation people to do that people have emailed me about Hannah Ann & Madison. I have seen a couple of incidents where Hannah Ann has been around a group of people and didn't wear a mask, with masks, she's not been consistent with it. we're not just jumping on matt and tyler's throats they are just the latest incidents cause it happened so recently, just came up yesterday, but if you scroll through everyone's Instagram in BN you could get a laundry list of people who have done it.
A: it's one thing to post in your feed wearing a mask don't be a dumbass and then the next day you're on a yacht partying with people. it's frustrating because i don't want people to think we're just coming for matt and Tyler if we sat here and talked about every single person in BN who has not been abiding by COVID rules we would be here all night.

on clare's season:
S: limo arrivals were last night so I have my trustee pad here we know there are definitely a few people who didn't even make it on the season. we know for a fact that Alex B didn't, Tien didn't, Josh didn't they all posted on their Instagram's showing they didn't even make it to Saturday, and I believe Collins Youngblood didn't make it either because he liked my post about him on social media before last night so unless someone is running his account probably he didn't make it either. that's four we know didn't make it to Saturday night. Since last night AJ and Page both have gone from private to public since the first rose ceremony, which was early this morning so probably it's not a 100% guarantee but with the timing of it probably means those two guys eliminated at the first rose ceremony. or maybe they didn't even make the cast and just waited a little longer from private to public. Montel Hill, Tyler Smith, Ellis Matthews definitely didn't make it to cast. there are now five guys we know who didn't make it (Alex, Tien, Josh, Ellis and Collins). Montell and Tyler had private to public changes on sm before Friday and AJ and Page after the rose ceremony. so, probably not going to see a bunch of those guys on the show. it's going to be a different season, we know this. no public dates, no travel and probably no pictures getting out. the production allowed those photos of Clare to get out so they might allow some paparazzi photos to get out during the show just to drum up interest and get people talking. this is a big deal if this show can pull it off and have no breaks, and nobody test positive, no shutdown of filming, and we can film an entire show it's kind of a big deal in COVID era because it will be one of the firsts shows to start and completes filming so i am hoping it happens i don't want Clare to get hosed again.
A: aren't you interested to know what happened, in terms of, Alex?
S: okay, i can report something i know about Alex from what i am hearing he did positive for COVID when he got out there but they did not throw him back on the plane because of this. he did test negative after that i just don't know how many times he did, but what i do know is he did test negative before he went home, cause remember Alex has been out in LA since July 8-9th, so he did test positive early, but i was told he tested negative after that, and he might have had two negatives, he might have had one, or three, what i do know is they did not put him on the plane due to the positive COVID test.
A: I wish he would have clarified that on his Instagram.
S: he didn't even clarify that at all, he just said COVID 2, Alex 0, okay but then why are you on the plane.
A: taking his mask down on a plane to show us his sad face. like draw a sad mouth over your mask don't do that.
S: Yeah he definitely was a guy who didn't make to first night clearly. josh posted he didn't make it to the first night, tien posted a story of him driving in the desert before last night even happened so that shows he didn't make it. basically repeating what he said above.
A: let me ask you this in terms of the guys who have already been eliminated how many were older looking for above 30?
S: looks like five were 30 and older and five were less than 30 if those other ones are gone. not of those guys, if they all are gone, i don't think Clare's missing out I don't think those were guys that Clare would have picked or fall for if i had to take a guess, not that i know who she's gonna pick but i get the sense that guys were just marginal and weren't gonna last long anyway.
A: what about in terms of men of colour?
S: Collins is half-black, Montell is black, Tien is Asian, and AJ is of pakistani descent i believe? so two black guys, one Asian and one mixed one.
A: so we'll have to look at the statistics now and see if they are meeting the quota that bachelordiversity campaign wants them to meet. i did see before getting on here that they did want us to talk about just production being silent ever since they kind of made their statement but i don't expect them too. I think they probably think look at Clare's cast and look at what we did with matt and they are going to stay silent until they absolutely have to say something. i expect nothing out of them. I think they should do it, I just don't know if they will.
S: no I don't think they will, the other thing i wanted to bring up about the production because we're in this COVID era now, the first time, they are ever doing a show like this, why aren't they updating us on the health protocols. maybe Chris Harrison will address it on an upcoming goat episode, i highly doubt it but why isn't Robert Mills speaking out? or Chris or Mike? give us a statement saying, hey this is our protocol on how we are filming, maybe they are going to tell us when it's all over on how they did it, but why not just inform America that everyone on set is being tested every 2nd or 3rd day if there is a positive we're going to do this. I don't know why you can't let people know, be more transparent because we have never seen this in tv history before. first ones to go back to filming.
A: also why wouldn't they want to be transparent about all the precautions they are taking and stuff like that only because that is going to give them positive press which they so desperately need right now.
S: and how about just doing it for the families of all these guys, cause they are well aware of what risks they are taking by being out there. how about informing them? unless they are behind the scenes and they all know. put it this way, there's nothing wrong with being transparent about what you're doing during filming there's absolutely no negative to it so why not just fill us in? Robert Mills love talking to the media, I gotta believe he's going to do an interview soon, cause he usually starts talking once filming as started and say that things are going well, the guys love Clare etc. I gotta believe that Mills is the one that's gotta say something. Chris is not gonna do it.
A: I feel like Chris has been in a penalty box ever since his Obama tweet because he has been silent. he took it down five minutes after he posted it.
S: so that's Clare's season I don't think there's anything else to cover. we are only one night in i can't tell you exactly how many guys she started with, how many were eliminated, we just don't know that it's too early, i can't know everything 3 seconds after it happens but you are going to get your spoilers this season one way or another whether it's during the filming, I'll tell you anything i do find out, or at the end whatever the case may be.
goes into to talk about lucy and colton. i have part of it saved, however, i do need to go to bed so if anyone wants to recap that portion along with the nick stuff feel free to do so! or i will update this in the morning or night when i have time to if no one has done it already! just wanted to get this part up for those who were curious about their thoughts on the party, and what info they have on Clare's season. i find it interesting they didn't eliminate Alex because of COVID reasons, but for others since he was there since the beginning.
ETA: thank you to the kind stranger for my award I apperciate it very much! & also yes, the ashley in the title is referring to spivey sorry that was unclear to some of you guys. I just assumed y’all knew which ashley I was referring to.
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