Sport dating app

With 43 billion matches to date, Tinder® is the world’s most popular dating app, making it the place to meet new people. The Dating App for Athletes ️ I've been looking for a dating app that is for athletes. So many other apps do not have the people I'm looking for. After easily setting up my profile in a few minutes, I was swiping away. I already have found a date in my first day using the app with a former National Champion! sport; sports life; Canadian tennis star Eugenie Bouchard joins dating app Bumble. Canadian tennis star Eugenie Bouchard has spent quarantine searching for a boyfriend, and has resorted to the ... Consider this app the OG of fitness dating apps: Launched in 2015, Sweatt has outlived some other apps who tried to get in the same game. (RIP “True Swolemate.”) Dating apps work a similar way. You meet different kinds of people and have different kinds of experiences on different apps—which means, what makes a great profile on one app, doesn’t necessarily work on another. That’s why we put together a collection of dating profile examples and quick tips on what works on what apps. 1. Sweatt. Sorry if your home isn’t the Big Apple. This app is exclusive to New York City dwellers. Sweatt is a dating app that allows users to answer questions about their fitness regimen, then matches them with men or women who have similar lifestyle, fitness, and wellness preferences.And if you’re not a mega CrossFit junkie, that’s okay. In a 2017 study to see if travel photos fare better than other dating app photos, Hinge analyzed around 180,000 user photos and found that, while only 3.4 percent of were of travel, those that ... WELCOME TO talk SPORT SINGLES . Coming to you live from talkSPORT! talkSPORT Singles has been launched to help you find like-minded singles in your area. Our aim is to give you the best online dating experience we can, and we have a number features that allow us to do this. ‎JOCK is a new kind of app reimagined specifically for active gay athletic men who prefer to meet other guys who share their same sports interests and hobbies. Pick a sport and put it on your profile so other athletes can search and find you right now! JOCK is the only mobile social network app exc… 14. Badoo Dating App. With over 450 million users, the possibility are pretty high to meet up that special someone regarding the Badoo application. Dating from the Badoo application is safe since the community has zero-tolerance for inappropriate behavior. This has strict use recommendations that keep every person safe.

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submitted by multiversekid to shoppingbay [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 03:51 throwaway5555585 23M lost and exhausted not sure what to do

TL;DR below
I parked at a mcdonalds by the beach to type this. I have a car, some money, a license, no criminal record, a banana, some peanuts. I am lucid. The sun is on my face. I realize things could be much worse, like I could have cancer, jailed for life for a false accusation etc
I am mentally, physically, spiritually empty. I am tired of hurting people. I am also tired of going from therapist to therapist and nothing seems to get through to me or affect my impulses towards self-destruction and addiction. I am addicted to stimulant medication (not abusing it), alcohol, and checking in/sending messages to my ex. I do not feel like I would be able to stop taking my ADD medication, which I take every day, stop drinking, lose my lovehandles/doublechin, gain some measure of muscle, and get socially confident, all at the same time, but all of these things combined with loneliness from covid/not being able to handle my ex leaving me are making me suicidal. (I have tested negative for covid) but my sense of smell, taste, and general intelligence is starting to nosedive. I dont laugh much. I feel nervous yet empty all the time. I do not have friends. I live by myself. I was recently fired from a 12$/hr job. I am dependent on my meds, 2 monster energies, and alcohol at night to not want to put my head in the oven. When I say I am physically in pain I am serious and I can't take it anymore
I have never made friends easily and struggle w/ small-talk. I think people assume I am bitter and quiet but I want to make friends desperately. Always wished I cared about sports and cars as much as other guys who are similar in age and stature as me, and had an easier time talking with girls. I am desperately lonely and feel like a weak man for not being able to be confident in social situations. I bite my lip, fidget, and cant really make people laugh in public, despite being 6'2, decently attractive, and pretty smart. This makes me insanely sad and lonely because I actually love going out and talking to people. I am not an introvert. I have had a couple of girlfriends who have cared about me and fulfilled needs but and I hate to say this, it was only because of settling below certain standards I came about this. In all of my serious relationships since high school I've made them cry and driven them away eventually. Like, worn them down and I hate that, I want to be able to love genuinely. Even a female friend/fwb this past summer during covid, I made her cry when I was drunk one night and I really hate that. She has since stopped talking to me and that was my one nerdy friend. The only people I talk to now are my family and friends of my family. I can't take this aspect it is making me go insane. I desperately need people my age and to be silly like I was able to be with my ex
I was prescribed stimulant meds for ADD around middle school and have been on the same dose for many years. Before getting medicated I was belittled by my parents, friends, and teachers for being a "space cadet", always losing things, etc. My parents were helpful financially and with advice but hyper-focused on control, order, neatness, etc. and not physically affectionate or goofy. I was finally medicated after begging for help. I have also always struggled with night terrors and insomnia. After talking with doctors and therapists for a long time I finally got help for this only recently (prazosin at night)
I know I am addicted to the stimulant medication. I have never abused it but take it every single day to help me function. I don't know if it truly helps me anymore but NOT taking it keeps me from thinking straight or feeling hope about anything. Tapering off has not worked because then I drink more or act out to compensate and fall into disorganization
I know I am also growing increasingly reliant on alcohol to help me cope with lonliness and purposelessness- drinking and watching joe rogan at night makes me feel manly, involved, intelligent, motivated etc even though its all an illusion and has made me gain about 15 lbs
I could write a book about how much I miss my ex and how devastated I am that she left but I'll just say, after 6 months of her breaking up with my over the phone right as covid hit, I have been addicted to checking in on her and fantastizing about a future where she comes back instead of me just focusing on school, fitness, etc. We talked about the future and both getting phds and having a nice house in the mtns. She made me laugh alot and I loved making her laugh. Literally hundreds of times a day I am bombarded by my own memories of her body, her laugh, her voice, wondering what shes doing, will she ever come back. I have done everything in the book WRONG and couldnt bring myself to go no-contact. No one has been able to ignite a spark in me like her and I keep fumbling with awkward dating apps which makes me horrifically sad when I inevitably get rejected by dozens of girls over text or in person. If I was confident and didnt give a fuck I might be able to get a safe fwb but that has not worked and I am close to giving up. Porn also makes me feel horrible because afterwards I am reminded that I am alone and a degenerate
TL;DR: Dependent on ADD meds and alcohol, repeatedly checking in/obsessing about ex, mental images of her body and voice and never getting real closure, mental scenarios, her being vague and saying a future might be possible but at the same time moving states away, I am gaining weight and losing muscle, desperately lonely, bored, unfilfilled, forgetting major deadlines like grad school apps, no clear way forward, I need a dramatic change in my life but none of these things seem possible all together at the same time. I know scientifically what to do (intermittent fast weight lift cold showers nofap etc), I also know that taking MORE ADD meds is not the answer...I just do not have energy anymore. My whole life I have struggled with making friends, fitting in, having skills that people value and think are bad ass... and now this has plunged me into something that scares me and makes me feel not real sometimes with the pain. I dissociate to get through the day. I am faking all of my interactions with people, I really want to shake them by the shoulders and say "hug me, dont leave, have dinner with me in my apartment" male or female. I cry regularly which is a change. I cannot keep a job like this, meet a new gf, or even friends, I will inevitably bite a bullet. I keep considering checking myself into a hospital but the thought of being tied to a bed without ADD meds and alcohol cold turkey seems like a fate worse than death and I dont know anyone who has done that. I want to take care of myself so I can take care of others, I want girls to find me attractive like they used to... my teeth are getting more crooked and yellow by the day, my gut hangs over my waistband, I compare myself to other dudes my age and think jesus christ, how far away is just feeling and being normal like that.
how do I balance all of these things and fix them all at once. Focusing hard on one makes me wayyy overcompensate for another (going on a date sober that fails and is awkward makes me rush home and pound liquor....trying to taper off adderall makes me lay in bed all day ordering grubhub and being catatonic.... working out makes me ravenous and feel shaky and weak for days) I need serious help, I have tried to talk about this with therapists but they just say stop doing this or get over your ex, etc

I say all this knowing that it may appear whiny but I really am just looking for someone who may have been down this road. I don't want to die but I will inevitably cause great emotional pain to myself and family if I continue this life. I will not have a job, will definitely not have my ex back in my life, and will be defenseless against anything else in life

I think she could come back in the future if I fix all these things quickly... but I feel like killing myself constantly, have no energy and I want to have hope. She is such a great girl and saw potential in me but she couldnt watch me self-destruct anymore. Have not been able to bring myself to delete the photos of us on a ferris wheel, or her giving raspberries to me in bed, or us on a boat fishing. I check on her spotify every day and see blatant references to sex playlists and it kills me but I am addicted to finding out information (not stalking or hurting her in any way). She announced on facebook recently that she is moving states (east coast all the way to Colorado) for a temporary job. Did not reach out to me at all or let me know personally which hurt badly and is kind of a clear sign. and I am kicking myself so, so hard for not "doing the no-contact thing" or not following some insane fitness regimen and attracting her back by doing some badass road trip, or cool seasonal job at the beach, or something besides jerking off at my parents house and using alcohol to cope. Feels like my brain is broken and on a loop. The dreams about her and the reminders on the radio and in other people are so painful. I have tried to reconnect with her over texts and it has just pushed her away more and probably made me seem desperate and unattractive as opposed to the guy she met in 2018.

If anyone can relate or provide assistance with what to expect, please let me know, I know the path upward and forward will be difficult but I have to change my life radically, I am in alot of pain. I have alot to give the world and I have decently good health and intelligence, I dont want to waste it
submitted by throwaway5555585 to depression_help [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 02:47 itsMikeSki Made an app to help people find people in Melbourne with common interests.

Hey guys,
I briefly mentioned this in someone else’s post last week and had a lot of people interested and installing the app and several have suggested that I make a stand alone post about it, so here goes...
A few of years ago when I moved to Melbourne I realised how difficult it actually is to make new friends with common interests locally, without resorting to dating apps. And yes dating apps were fun for a purpose, but then I got married and I can’t really be on Tinder anymore or I’ll need to be on Tinder again real quick lol.
So I came up with an idea and built an amazing team and we’ve launched Brane (https://get.brane.app). Brane is an app that allows you to tag your profile up with your interests, and then search for others based on theirs, and set a location radius, or search globally (in case you feel like chatting with or taunting some Lakers fans right now). We’re also super focused on privacy, so we don’t ask for your phone number and everything is safe and secure, even your tags are private to people you chat with (other than the one tag they found you with of course.) Oh, and it’ll show you what tags/interests are trending close to you.
We’re a small Melbourne start up and we are rolling this out slowly while we work on any issues that come up and build in people’s requests - and we’re working on a ton of new features to enhance the experience, but the core of the app is there and working great.
Check it out, it’s great for meeting someone in your 5km bubble, or just chatting with a random, or making new friends, and yeah, taunting opposing sports fans lol. But mostly just fun to actually connect with people with common interests while in this bubble.
https://get.brane.app
Also open to answer any app based questions etc, whether Brane or app dev or start up life. And if anyone wants to join the team and feels like they have someone to contribute send me a message.
submitted by itsMikeSki to melbourne [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 01:28 continuedpath Dutch pedo i met on yubo

Warning: very long story
Before i start this story i just want to say that I completely understand how stupid i was for not seeing the red flags earlier on, in my defence , I was still new to the concept of romantic relationships and quite naive. To add on, I was recovering from being ghosted months prior, I had quite horrible self esteem and was willing to put up with shitty and creepy behaviour from people online and I fully regret it. This wasn't very long ago when this took place, during the end of January 2020, with it currently being almost october 2020. However, I would like to think that this experience woke me up a bit. I would also like to say that I thankfully did not send any intimate or sexual photos to this person.
Also, I do not have any bias towards dutch people, even though i've had two horrible experiences with people from the Netherlands and Belgium, I understand that there are always bad apples in every group, and this creep happened to be one of them. Holland is a beautiful country and I'm sure there are very lovely people there, just not him. On a side note, if anyone knows how to see soccer stats of players all over the world/check if someone ever was in that sport, please let me know in the comments.
I'm fully aware that someone might call me an idiot, or I might receive some backlash for falling for this, I understand, but this just shows how vulnerable teen girls can be. I would appreciate it if people don't call me out for being foolish, I know that, I still feel like an idiot. This is why I want to share this, to get some of it off my chest and hopefully this might prevent someone from getting into a similar situation in the future.
This story starts near the end of January, I was 16, studying for my final exams for the first semester of my junior year. I took a study break and was on yubo. For those who don't know what yubo is, it's an app to meet new people, you make an account with your name and age, they either direct you to a server for teens 13-17, or 18+. Some people like to call it the “tinder for teens'' which explains it pretty well. Anyways I was swiping and I found someone, who i will refer to as “T” for now, i don't want to give out his name for my safety and other privacy reasons. What caught my attention was that while looking through his profile he stated he was from the Netherlands, and staying in Canada for a few months. The reason this caught my attention and me personally vulnerable, was that I used to know someone who was also “dutch”, well flemish (from northern belgium). Since this caught my interest, and kind of reminded me of him, I decided to message T.
We got along pretty well but even in the first conversation there were some red flags, he told me he was 17 (also stated on his profile) and that he was staying in a town near mine to work for his uncle at an animal clinic till the summer. He also claimed he had his own car and apartment. Although I don't really know how the education system works, from what I've heard, dutch students can graduate early and take a gap year before they decide to go to university/college, so this could make sense. However, some red flags were that 1. The legal driving age in the Netherlands and many other european countries is 18, he wouldn't have his own car, and he wouldn’t be able to get a license in Canada as a non Canadian citizen. 2. Getting his own apartment seems too good to be true, his family would have to rent it out for him, and honestly that would be alot of money, also it would be stupid to let a 17 year boy alone like that. 3. He was immediately nice and way to flirty, I can't remember much but looking back, it was sketchy. 4. He claimed he didn’t have instagram nor snapchat, but gave me his number, where we communicated on whatsapp. Unfortunately, I did not think to double check the legal driving age in the Netherlands, nor think that it's strange he did not have basic social media such as instagram. We talked the rest of that night on whatsapp where he showed me photos of his dog, food he cooked and he complimented me way too much. Being naive at the time I really thought this was gonna be the start of something great.
The next few days go by and we move too fast, talking about how he wants to date me, talking about things we could do together once we get familiar. (This was extremely manipulative and predatory behaviour looking back, he was trying to groom me). To add on, he claimed he used to play soccer and was at the national level, which i think was a lie considering what i found out later on, and the fact he might have used it to impress me, considering I am more the athletic type, having qualified for nationals (i won't name the sport to keep confidential).
We both wanted to call and we did so on Skype. This means i have him on skype too, and this is how I know his last name (which is a key element). On the skype calls, he looked just like his pictures on yubo where he said he was 17, he didn’t have facial hair and could pass for a 17 year old. He was much different on skype then on text, he talked more sexually and kept going on about how he’s good at it because he was experienced, and how he wants to make the woman feel good, etc. He also said that he didn’t want to force me if i wasnt ready, that sex on the first date isn’t expected, but he also doesn’t see an issue if i were to give him a handjob or something. Looking back, he was quite narcissistic and perverted, always talking about himself and rambling, but still somewhat polite. He had a noticeable accent which makes sense because he's dutch, but he claims he's been to Canada multiple times and had lots of stories about it, (they made sense but they could be fake if he just did some research).
This goes on for a week, until the night before a competition I had (Wednesday, January 29th 2020). His replies became noticeably more short, which felt odd since he was the type to write paragraphs. I didn't question it until the next day, (Thursday, the 30th) at my competition, where i asked why he was so quiet, he said he was “vibing with some girl” and sent a photo of him, with makeup editing on, but at first, i thought it was real. I confronted and he told me to chill, and it was a joke, but he inwas thinking he immediately lost interest (looking back i was stupid for thinking so, but i was used to people leaving and i really liked him, so i was panicking. Also, I was tired from having just come back from my competition and having my exams that week). He then apologizes and says “it was just a joke, you’re making me feel like a murdered a baby”, and then spammed with with those gif stickers on whatsapp, he sent tons, like maybe 30, it was extremely weird and it frightened me more, he was acting crazy at this point, denying my emotions and i felt scared and a little stupid, worried about if this was going to work. I was actually crying because I was so scared of losing something that could be great. I said I was going to sleep and I apologized, claiming I was tired and I said goodnight, he replied with a stone cold “bye”.
On Friday, the 31st, I texted him good morning and he said “hi”, acting completely different from the days before, I asked about last night and why he was acting weird (the spamming stickers and cold texts). He acted like he had no clue what I was talking about, I said I felt scared and he says that the photo of him filtered as a girl was a joke (it was a filter but still not funny to me) he said I needed to calm down, that i was overreacting and that he was busy for one day and that i blew up at him. I apologized sincerely, I felt shitty and he said that he was a little scared and “oof” from me, because of how i acted from the change of his behaviour, saying “i was busy for one day and you blew up like this”. Me being me, I apologized again saying i promise i wasn’t usually like this. He just left my text on read, didn’t reply, and I felt sick. I did horrible at my competition that night.
On Saturday he still didn’t reply, i decided i needed to focus and i deleted my whatsapp app, (my account was deleted however this erased our conversation). Later in the afternoon, after preliminaries, I decided to redownload the app, due to the fact I didn't have finals that night, (I was really slow due to how stressed I was). When I redownloaded, I saw he blocked me, I checked on skype and the same was done there too.
I was really pale and quiet at this point from how stressed I was, I ended up telling my mom everything, that I met this guy and he ghosted me, she didn’t fully understand and I changed some parts of the story, like how I met him. I tried contacting via another phone with international texting and still nothing. I also tried calling and leaving a voicemail with that phone since it wasnt blocked, it probably was stupid and out of line, but i was doing my best not to lose another person in my life. I didn’t bother looking him up too much (i REALLY should have), my mother advised me to move on so i did, i deleted photos and screenshots of conversations and didn't bother trying to search him up, i had to accept he was gone and that i screwed it all up, i felt like it was all my fault. Looking back I should have thought, and done research, especially on a laptop, right after i had met him.
Eventually weeks go by and nothing happens, I eventually decide I need to focus on my schoolwork, and get good grades, even though I was quite sad about it at the time. A few months later, after lockdown had taken place, i thought about T, i wondered about the Netherlands when i was driving one day, the driving age was 16 here, so what was it in the Netherlands? I looked it up out of curiosity, and then felt concerned to realize the legal age to drive was 18. This is where I had my realization, fucking finally.
I immediately grabbed a laptop and searched his first and last name I had from skype, there was not much but i found a Linkedin. I made my own damn account to see his full page, where it stated he had a bachelors degree in international business at a university in the Netherlands. It was his profile with his face, but his job was odd. I've never heard of an “Esports Manager” but reading about his love for gaming was odd when he never even mentioned it to me, also the timeline of his bachelor and his 10+years experience, starting at 13 meant he must have been at least 23 years old. His profile stated he lives near Rotterdam, which makes sense considering it matches with the area code of his phone number, also the +31 is for the Netherlands, so he is most likely dutch. This same information was also available on his twitter bio. I kept doing tons of research, I even went on google images and after searching his name I found a link to a public instagram page. Not his though, his girlfriend’s. I'll call her K:
From what i see , K seems to be a 20 year old woman in finland, who does art. She must still be with him considering her profile picture was his face, she had photos of him from as far as 3 years ago, with them kissing, holding hands and him being tagged, so i naturally was able to see he had an instagram too, but i couldn’t access it (he found my account first and must have blocked me before i ever knew). As soon as he got my full name from skype, it would have made it easy for him to find me there and block my account, so I’ll never know. Fortunately i have a second account which i was able to see he had one, with his profile picture being K’s face, but his account was private and i wasn’t gonna take the risk of following him, he would know it was me. I checked his Facebook too, and there was no mention of him ever doing soccer, which adds to the fact it was probably a lie, although it didn't seem like he used it much. Also, K was not living in the Netherlands, but still in Finland, her instagram was filled with photos of her all over the world, she must be one to travel a lot. There are photos of her in New York, Netherlands, Belgium and Austria. Her last name is also finnish and her facebook and facebook relatives are all Finnish too. I think she and T were in a sort of long distance relationship, but see eachother often by travelling each summer.
I was able to recover old screenshots I sent my friends in January when I was freaking out over the whole situation, and i have a document with all the links to any media or page online relating/identifying to him. I told my friends and they obviously called me out for being stupid, i feel like ive lost some respect from some of them, i dont blame them. It sucks because now one of my closest friends thinks im crazy for dutch guys, and that im legitimately dumb, basically hinting that i shouldn’t have expected anything, and she was right. If something is too good to be true, it probably is. This definitely was something i should have seen, and i was ignoring all the warning signs.
I was advised by them to go to the police and tell my mother. I told my mother and she kind of explained that its not safe going to police, if i don't have enough evidence then it’ll look like i made false accusations, especially considering i don't have the messages where he said he was 17, or any where i said i was 16, plus i lost our whatsapp conversation, all i have is the skype conversation which doesn’t have anything incriminating. She also advised i dont tell K either, it might get me in trouble too, and her reaction is unpredictable. As much as I want to, I most likely won't start anything, I don't want to start personal or legal drama.
It's kind of hard sometimes after all this. First of all, i feel like an idiot. Second, I have proof to expose a pedofile, and get T in trouble for luring a minor (he did want to meet up with me). Third, this information would ruin a 3 year relationship, and honestly that poor girl probably has to deal with his narcissistic and manipulative behaviour, but then again i really don't know what they are both like. But most importantly, i could have been a victim of statutory rape, maybe even have fallen into what could have been a human trafficker trying to groom me.
The reason I say this is because of him mentioning his uncle quite a bit, and his job of being a secretary that works from home for the clinic, but sometimes coming in to do office work, saying that his schedule could be all over the place. When i asked about it he mentioned he takes a lot of calls and manages clients, this could be a far stretch but he was eager to meet me, who knows what could have happened if i did. Also, an “ESports Manager” seems sketchy, and that was enough to get him his own place? I understand that some elements of video games and tournaments can rank up some money, and they’re is proof of him actually being one, even one showing him being a leader for a professional gaming team for ACER in a CSGO tournament. I found this on an esports website and there were also a few tweets about it where they @ him. But still, it could be a potential side job.
There's also another theory of mine that he was never in Canada, and used a vpn to lie about his location on yubo and he could have used google maps to seem knowledgeable about the region im in, however his knowledge about stores and places he claimed he visited seemed to specific and i don't see why he would waste time lying about that, especially when he wanted to meet up irl. Unless he would only be trying to get photos from me, but I wasn't willing to. Which might be why he easily opted out. If he was in Canada, i'm assuming he flew back home anyway because of the pandemic.
Also, he deleted his yubo account, i'm not sure if he made another despite me looking around, i've now deleted that application because i no longer wish to meet new people, i've learned to be content with my life with a few close friends, i don't need a boyfriend.
If i'm honest, i think i am extremely lucky to have had him block me after a week, i could have learned this lesson in a much more traumatic way. I keep tabs on her instagram and I have been able to figure out who some of T’s relatives are via Facebook. I know I seem creepy but it's my way of trying to fully understand who this person was, and if I ever decide to tell the police, I have loads of contacts. Also, i started writing this in august, its now end of september and after doing some more digging, i saw he updated his facebook and twitter to show he lives in Finland now. I think they might have moved in together, but who knows.
I made an imgur and I have a post with photo evidence, however i don't want to break the rules of the sub and I'm here to tell my story, not expose someone.
submitted by continuedpath to creepyencounters [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 01:00 borednightnurse1990 My Life in the Military, Chapter 2

NSFW
GRAPHIC CONTENT
CRUDE LANGUAGE
SEX
MILD VIOLENCE
TOBACCO AND ALCOHOL USE
SCENES DEPICTING REGULAR GARBAGE AND RECYCLING GOING INTO THE SAME BIN
SERIOUSLY, WHO’S THE CHIEF BUMBLEFUCK IN CHARGE OF NETFLIX’S PARENTAL ADVISORY MESSAGES?!?
okay, how about a more appropriate title for this post?
YOU CAN EITHER BE A FIERCE AMAZON, OR A CAMO WRAPPED VAGINAL LIFE SUPPORT
Based on the crude sub-sub title for this episode, one can safely guess how strongly i feel about this issue.
Yes dear reader. And to you 15 redditors who sent me chat messages and the other 26 who sent me direct messages asking for my input about military life as a woman. Finally, you will get the answers you are looking for.
As usual, before i begin on my usual rant, let me start off with an intro.
INTRO
Be advised, i may or may not be a wee bit tipsy while writing this. I find i write best when i am left alone with my partner playing “straddle-what’s-basically-a-controlled-detonation-on-full-afterburners-on-a-night-flyby-exercise” and with a tumbler full of scotch within arm’s reach. Today’s post is brought to you by “small-batch-whisky-whom-i-shall-choose-to-not-name-because-im-actually-not-sponsored-by-them” and im staring at a stack of unnecessary paperwork that some brand spanking new good idea fairies (who will fofahkssakes will get lost in the woods the first chance they get) have dropped in my lap, putting me in just a teensy weensy homicidal mood.
THE SISTERHOOD OF “DIE, MOFO, DIE!”
You have finished your basic and occupational training. Depending on your nationality, you may undergo additional training, or you might be looking at orders chopping you off to your first unit. Yay! (Those first introductory training courses in the military doesnt count in my books since everyone is weird there anyway. Its where they weed out those unsuitable for this life and skim the cream of the crop.)
Dont break into your happy little dance yet. Its just beginning for you.
Here’s some generic advice from a wiser person than me.
Being a woman in the military is just, strange.
Lets get out of the way the obvious gimmes first.
SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS
Look. Im not gonna start with a sermon and go “dont shit where you eat” or “the military workplace is STILL a professional workplace, act professionally” sermonizing bullshit on you. Kind of high and mighty of me seeing as i married another military person. Youre an adult in a professional environment. Act accordingly. Just be respectful and be smart. If youre looking at co workers for potential life partners, have at it. Contrary to popular belief, military people are one of the most romantic people ever. Sure, were a little bit messed up in the head and come with some baggage, on account of all the killing and out performing the enemy when it comes to converting human bodies into pink mist, but who doesnt have baggage in their life?
If you even come remotely close to being decent looking in civvie life, you will be an instant army (or insert favorite branch) babe. You are surrounded by lonely, horny, and rowdy males. This is normal. In most cases, you will be exactly as lonely, horny, and rowdy as they are. Maybe even worse. Boys might think were all prim and proper and sugar and spice and everything nice, but the last time i looked down, im rocking the same beef curtains as you ladies. I know we are so much more grosser?/grossier? than dudes in most cases. Exhibit A: female side of any public bathroom.
Gone are the days when you have to put in the work and effort just to look good for a date. Seriously, all you have to do is change into civillian clothing on the weekend and you will find yourself inundated with invitations to a date before you even sign out of the main gate. If you’re above average looking and actually look good in combats, you will smell the pheromones from a mile away.
Let me make myself clear: THIS. DOES. NOT. MAKE. YOU. SPECIAL. There will come a time when your whole life will revolve around the military and you will have little time left to socialize in a civillian setting. This will mean that it may be possible your dating options will consist of purely fellow military members. Before you dip your toes in the work pool, remember that your situation might be very well the same for the people you are dating.
Be an adult. A responsible and accountable one. I highly believe that the antiquated rules prohibiting fraternization amongst the ranks is meant to mitigate any risks of abuse. This is 2020. That should no longer be the case. If a relationship ends badly, DO NOT use your hooha as a weapon to “win” the break up. I have seen so many cases of scumbag women in the ranks who are only one level evolved beyond being vaginal life support, abuse the new protections and equality measures enacted in the workplace. All you’re doing is unravelling all that work and preventing honest, hard working women from succesfully joining the ranks, and making it hard for legitimate victims to attain justice.
This strikes a really personal note with me because I was sexually assaulted by a senior student during leadership school. (I refuse to be called a rape “victim”.) I have been known to be the wild child all throughout my life. But nothing I have done made me deserve what that animal did to me. I had to fight hard to prove to the system that i am claiming that a legitimate offense took place, and i want justice, goddammit. Im not trying to game the system, im not trying to seek the spotlight, im not trying to “win” a breakup, i dont want anything at all except maybe look him in the eye and have him acknowledge that he deserves to serve time as restitution for his offense.
There are women out there who have had it worse than me. There are women out there who will never breathe the breath of the living again as a result of what happened to them. Do NOT even dare exploit a system trying to fix itself to prevent any more dead and violated women. You may have personally benefited from it now, but what about women you love? Friends? Sisters? Cousins? How would you be able to live with yourself if a system that has been tampered with by people like you is now unable to help them?
Tales of woe and sadness aside, i have also seen women bat their eyelashes at dumbass teenage barely out of highschool males in their class and ask if they can carry some of their loadout in their rucksack. And then complain in the next breath that life as a modern woman is still heavily biased. No honey, you dont get to do that. Take off the uniform and go sell pictures of your feet on gonewild if you wanna cash in on your vajayjay. You dont get to do that while wearing the same uniform that i do. One that i actually earned the right to wear.
Now, on to the more practical parts:
HYGIENE AND FEMALE CARE
  1. Underwear: some militaries provide an allowance to female members so they can buy their own bras. Before you go to Victoria’s Secret or La Perla, ask yourself: how busty am i? If you are at the point where you need underwire in your brassiere, believe me, those wires will come popping out as soon as you shrug on your plates and squeeze your tatas. Do yourself a favour and use that bra allowance to have your own sports bras custom made.
If you’re a fan of small underwear like I am, do yourself a favour and leave the thongs at home when in field exes/deployments, and wear the issued boxers. Even though i scoff at the idea of the issued flame retardant boxers being your last line of defense against being burnt to a crisp, my reasons are a lot more practical. Where i live, lingerie dont grow on trees. That shit’s expensive. If it gets ripped up or damaged or rendered unwearable due to adverse living conditions, or stupid delicates murdering laundry machines at the wash, the military will not reimburse you for it.
  1. Feminine Hygiene: due to our anatomy, we are a lot more prone to UTIs and yeast infections when living in adverse conditions. Even when in FOBs that do their best to make themselves your home away from home, the conditions usually are still pretty ripe and favourable for infections to develop in unsanitary conditions. Set yourself up for success by making sure to pack enough washes and baby wipes. My job involves paying strict attention to small details. In fact, we are a lot more vigilant about it than your standard grunt. Its because our lives depend on it. How can i trust a soldier in my unit to be observant enough and not get themselves and me blown up, if i cant even trust them not to be taken out of commission by a UTI in the desert because they let their stank get so stanky to the point that they need an IV drip of antibiotics?
  2. Feminine Health: if you think your periods are a killer when youre in the comfort of your own home, think again. Imagine having cramps in the middle of the desert heat, stuffed in a bullet magnet tin box on wheels, surrounded by heavily armed stinky dudes, in a hostile country populated with innocent people who just want to live their lives in peace, and people who look like those innocent people, but instead of being peaceful, look forward to blowing themselves up just to kill you. Do yourself a favour: get an IUD or a hormone shot like Depoprovera. It will stop your periods dead in its tracks, and the brief period of discomfort after having those measures installed in your body is worth it.
  3. On deployment, bring (sexual) protection and some other stuff. Jesus, im so bad for saying this, but here’s what ive witnessed usually happen at FOBs. Fresh batch of troops get popped into the oven. They are given a bunch of briefings about conduct in country. Amongst those rules of conduct laid down is discouraging fraternization. There are people who go out and break this rule as soon as they can.
As ive mentioned before, i highly believe that anti fraternization rules are antiquated and will have to be reviewed some time soon. This is 2020, where even lower ranking enlisted can boast some more education and life experiences. A good majority of them know how to be an adult and not let their personal life do a mission creep on their work life. But since its the military, they have to take things slow and steady because all rules enacted should be carefully analyzed (a.k.a.: have a bunch of generals and senior staff get the chance to attach their names on it). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs actually place intimacy as a requirement above physical needs. That Hierarchy does not cease to exist just because you wear combats. A good leader plans for that and helps their soldiers succeed.
Anyway, back to my point. You’ll be horny. You’ll be rowdy. And you’ll be lonely. This is where the protection and other stuff_ part comes in. Condoms + your IUD or any chosen form of birth control i mentioned above should be sufficient enough to protect you from the double hazards of disease and unwanted pregnancy. Please note that i highly recommend other ways of satisfying sexual needs prior to engaging in actual intercourse with another person. This is usually because getting it on also has a chance of one member of the party developing something that has no place developing in the middle of a goddamn mission.
Im not talking about fucking barnyard animals. Im talking about masturbation. This is where the other stuff comes in. The other stuff are, well, no other ways to put it, sex toys. Bear with me for a second here and let me explain. A horny, sex deprived soldier is a single minded soldier. A soldier who’s mind is less than 100% on the mission and preoccupied with getting their freak on is a distracted soldier. I have seen the rules relaxed on the field when it comes to bored, scared, and horny soldiers. A good leader can take care of boredom and fear. Lack of physical intimacy is something only the soldier can take care of. This is an easy gimme problem for men to take care of. Wake up, wank off, piss, smoke, drink coffee, and its All Good Morning Vietnam after that.
For females, its a little bit more complicated and harder to explain.
If you need to get laid, you need to get laid. Having sex with yourself should always be COA A, B, and C, before you start shooting long looks at those icky, cootie ridden boys. Just kidding. If men are allowed to take care of their own sexual needs solo, then why shouldnt you as well?
Why the sex toys then? Im talking strictly about vibrators. Put away the whips and chains. You dont need to bring your entire sex dungeon on deployment. Its because women’s bodies are unique in a million different ways. Some women find it pleasant to have some parts of the body stimulated. Some dont. Bringing a vibrator allows you to bypass all these “middleman” erogenous zones and get straight to business. A vibrator also helps women who cannot get satisfaction from pure manual stimulation of their “magic bean”. There are different kinds of tools out there to suit your needs.
Im Jewish by birth and has also commanded some Mormon troops. Jews and Mormons i found are the hardest troops to counsel when it comes to maintaining their sexual health. Jews because of the very nature of their guilt based culture, and Mormons because of their massively restricting rules about sexuality. I had a married Mormon soldier under my command whom ive noticed has been developing a pretty friendly relationship with one of the clerks. I knew it was a matter of time before these two heads into some dark and private area and start carrying on. I took the soldier aside and advised him to talk to his bishop and figure out a way to sate his sexual needs within the bounds of his faith, without creating drama in the workplace or ruining his marriage.
Btw, if youre learning about any of this just now, please go ahead and give your parents a bonk on the forehead for me. Thank youuuuuuu.
PHYSICAL FITNESS
Just because you and your booty has 40k Instagram followers doesnt mean you are physically fit to join the military. Imagine all the “exercises” you do in the gym. Now imagine doing all that while wearing at least 150 lbs of kit. And then imagine doing that in a situation where your physical fitness may or may not be the one that saves your life.
I dont care if you have no ambitions towards joining the combat arms jobs. I knew of a guy who on gate duty while on deployment in the Balkans. Him and a buddy were lit up by effective fire to cover a young man trying to rush their gate while wearing a SVIED. This guy tackled him from behind and froze him in place so he couldnt clack himself off while trusting his buddy is providing covering fire. Him and his buddy are both cooks.
Physical fitness is an important part of your job requirements in the military regardless of what trade you apply for. Physical fitness is also a personal responsibility. Do not sign the dotted line expecting the military to whip you up into shape. All you will accomplish is break yourself trying.
Going back to the different physicality of the female anatomy, make sure your workouts are geared to fit into that military oriented demand. Gym fit is entirely different from military fit. I have always had lower back problems since hitting puberty because of my boobs. The problems started escalating even before i joined the military. I had never been fat my entire life but i soon realized i was never physically fit either. I depended on my high metabolism, raging hormones, and natural flexibility as a teenager to carry me through cheerleading and all the sports that i used to do. As an adult, i soon realized i cant depend on those things anymore. I had to focus on integrating a lot of core and back exercises on top of my workouts.
A physique based workout is not a strengthening workout. But that doesnt mean you have to give up on your goals of popping a six pack, popping some lats, and sporting a wicked v cut. You just have to be smart with your workouts. Focus on functional workouts that would enable you to go on long patrols while carrying heavy gear. Do that, do well with that, and the physique will come.
Last but not least, if you smoke, quit. Im not gonna sermon you on this. Theres plenty of information out there letting you know about the health risks associated with smoking. Later on in your career, sure, there might be some room for a vice. But smoking during military training when you desperately need your cardio will not do you any favours. I smoke here and there with my boys only when on deployment. A couple of exceptions for real life reasons when in garrison, say the birth of a baby, or some success that needs celebrating. But i only smoke cigars. Cubanos mostly, because if im gonna smoke a cancer stick, it will be an expensive cancer stick. Lmao. I also learned how to chew tobacco while working with Americans. Chewing tobacco is quite an interesting experience. I dont like doing it, but its quite an effective ice breaker when working with American counter parts, especially their Marines, when i approach them and ask: “want a dip?” and hand them a can of Skoal.
POST SCRIPT
I originally wanted to post this as a series. Once the series is completed, i will create an index post and post that into militarystories and this sub. I have only posted one so far before this post.
However, my situation has changed. I am now in a position where i am doing the job of two people while our tempo is dramatically sped up. I will still take time to answer questions and requests for advice, but sadly, the endstate i was envisioning will not be possible until at least for a long while. This post has been marinating in my drafts folder for quite some time before i finally had to be honest with myself and admit that i am going about this the wrong way.
I do not want to disappoint everyone who sent me PMs and chat messages asking me for advice. I think doing it this way is a happy medium. I will still entertain private conversations and questions. Just please be patient if it takes me a while to respond.
Finally, to u/fishtheunicorn, i apologize for putting you on the spot like this. But, i usually creep the profiles of people who DM, chat, and follow me. I noticed that out of all of them, you are the only one who is still at such a young age in their life. So here’s a piece of advice that i send out to you and to similar fresh eager young faces like you only.
You have finally graduated high school. For some of you, its “now what do i do?”. For others, its your country’s version of your elite military academy where you graduate with a Baccalaureate and a commission. For a select few, the military is a last resort in hopes of not getting lost in life.
I joined the military as an already full grown adult. I left behind a professional career and discarded years’ worth of education that helped establish that. I do not regret any of it. All of those life experiences has made me a better person, a better leader, and a more than average soldier. My job requires me to be bold and decisive. While leaders like me are allowed leeway to make mistakes, mistakes made at our level usually produces a dead or badly injured friendly soldier at the other end of the decision making process. Our job as leaders is to use our soldiers to achieve our mission endstate. Its NOT our job to use them up.
If the military is the endstate you have been working on your entire life, holding off on signing that dotted line while gaining some more life experiences wouldnt hurt at the very least. Travel. Live with foreigners. Learn a new language and a new culture. Learn how to work and lead in a professional environment. Learn some professional and life skills. After that, when you feel that you’re ready, watch yourself be a rockstar once you finally join this unique brothesisterhood and bring all this wealth of knowledge and experience to the table.
If the military is nothing but a “eh, well, better than working at McDonalds” option for you after high school, know this: there is a place for you in the military too. There are plenty of opportunities for you to succeed as long as you apply yourself. But you only achieve this if you are honest with yourself first and foremost and humble enough to know that you need a lot of learning to do. Shed all preconceived notions and overestimated trust in your capabilities, and do not be afraid to put in some hard work.
Work hard. Share in everyone’s hardship. It is not wrapping yourself up in a flag and humming patriotic songs that would endear you to your colleagues. Its sharing the same suffering they are enduring. Part of the reason why medically profiled people get ostracized in the military is that because they are now out of the shared hardships equation.
Be bold. Pick left, pick right, but stick to your guns when you know you’re right. Boldness and bravery also means yielding when you know you dont have enough experience or knowledge to support your decision.
Be humble. Theres nothing more infuriating than coming fresh out of the training schools and thinking you already know everything. For most militaries, training schools only give you the template of what you need to know. You will have more specifics to learn once you get to your unit.
Be generous. Ive been in 2 way ranges more often than i would care to. One thing i took away from those experiences is that life is short. Whether be it from someone wanting to kill you dead, or an idiot who shouldnt have been issued a driver’s license, life can get cut short for anyone at any point in time. Be generous with your affections. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Dont wait for the right moment to tell a loved one that you love them. You should be saying that everyday anyway, and making your actions be reflective of that.
Be selfless. Its a sad state of affairs that I dont get to work with the Canadians as much as i would like to, but i have observed an interesting practice they do in field exercises. Sometimes, they get a treat and have cooks prepare a fresh cooked field meal for them. They bring food out in heated containers and have the troops line up right there in the field for meal time. Senior NCOs and ALL officers stay in the back of the line and let all their lower ranking members eat first. Even though portions are heavily rationed out to ensure everyone gets something to eat, its always slim pickings by the time the Privates and Corporals get to have their food. This experience stuck with me and has been a core principle in my leadership style.
Selflessness in soldiering is not limited to jumping on top of grenades. I always make sure my troops are well fed, well supplied, and well rested. I do not spoil them, but i make sure theyre not short changed either. I have marched straight up to the face of the Major in charge of our logistics when i was a junior officer and demanded why my troops are forced to ratfuck and stretch one MRE for 3 days per man, when it was him and his shop that fucked up in outfitting us with what we need for a simple field exercise. I refuse to make my men pay for other people’s inability to do their job. I make sure that i pull at least one sentry shift per rotation. I go above and beyond in coaching and imparting life skills to those who went from the care of their parents and the educational system, straight to the care of the military. Those who have had no opportunities to gain those skills on their own.
I do this not for personal gain or recognition. I do it because i know im not special. I know that some of these rockstars i have the privilege to lead will be leading some other rockstars themselves in the future. My ability to wear a uniform and serve my country is enabled by people before me who brought in positive changes to our organization. Positive change in the military lies in the hands of people like this, and my job as their leader and whatever i do as i lead them, is a crucial ingredient in making sure that those positive changes happen.
To close this, i am more than willing to coach you specifically on how to prep for success in the military if youre willing to bear with me and my personal time constraints. While i may not be familiar with the intricacies of applying in your particular nation’s military, there are a lot more i can help you out with.
😘😘😘
Edit: ladies! Ho-ly. Lol. Okay. Got the gist of all the comments and the PMs. Okay. Im linking a few shops you guys might want to check out. All of these are shops i have personally done business with in the past, and they all do either custom work, or custom editing for your sports bras. They are in different countries and some of them only accept in person/in store business. But the beauty of these times being so unpredictable due to COVID, you might just be able to convince them to do remote work with you as long as you clearly articulate what you want. The prices are a bit steeper than your usual already expensive lingerie, but i swear, its worth it.
I too have plugged in “custom made sports bras” in Google and came up with frustrating hits. What initially got me started with it is that i was able to sweet talk a seamstress into “experimenting” with my bras. I have a pair that was as close to perfect as i have ever had, and all she had to do was strip it down and resize it in her shop based on my measurements. It might be a harder process for some, and it might be an easier process to others. It depends on every single woman’s body type.
Technically, theres no such thing right now as a “true” custom made/bespoke sports bra. Its all just basically mass produced stretchy sweat wicking fabric that you jam your ta-tas into and hope for the best. I dont like “true” sports bras. I dont like how i have to peel them off like a shirt. (Yeah, yeah, i get it, there’s ones that have clasps, but thats a recent development). I prefer swimwear bras or cheer practice bras. Those ones have a lot more optionality and customization options without taking away too much from the support aspect of things.
If you cant find any shop nearby that offers those services, its quite easy to go talk to a seamstress/tailor who would be willing to modify a bra for your specific body measurements. Soma is a good brand for its selections, and Lululemon for its next generation fabrics. Find out the best fabric from Lululemon, scope some styles from Soma, ask if theres any athletics or cheerleading outfitters near you than can assemble a bra close to your size, and then have the seamstress/tailor do the final fitting. Lots of work, but ive done it before, and its not that hard.
Putting this info in a military context, you dont need a “true” sports bra specifically. Take this advice and adapt it into your personal context. Maybe youre like me who still can benefit from a hybrid bra like a swim/cheer bra for support to approximate the support you get from underwire. Maybe you need to double up on the sports bra so you get to control the “squish” factor you get from the plates. (I actually had to do this before). Or maybe, sadly, its time to really look at a reductive surgery as an option.
Toru and Naoko
Buttress and Snatch
Rigby and Peller
Rubie’s
Edit 2:
Gawdfakendammit. Anyone know how to get rid of the annoying cover photos that links pull into the post? I dont want this post’s cover photo to be a picture of a boob holster. Lol.
submitted by borednightnurse1990 to FuckeryUniveristy [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 22:22 shanabailey Products that I did NOT add to database today (25.9.2020)

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Compilation image: https://i.imgur.com/2iP6fDj.jpg
submitted by shanabailey to couponsfromchina [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 20:52 Collateral_H_Damage So I indirectly ruined the CHD for everyone

Over the last few months, I have been vaguely aware of the CHD contract spat, as well as the subsequent disappointment regarding the podcast's new direction. Normally, I am a pretty private person, but I feel you, as loyal viewers, have suffered enough and could use some consolation. Having had prior dealings with the one known as Suitman, and being the creature of conscience that I am, I have decided to throw you guys a bone here...

Portrait of a bush league television executive named Peter Nelson, a meager little man who feeds off his self-delusions only to find himself perpetually hungry for want of woman in his diet. The year is 2016. Peter, not yet Suitman, is thirty-five, lonely, and choosing to spend much his time searching left and right on dating apps, hoping to find something to satisfy his hunger. He has his preferences, and they are set to seek out teenage girls. And with a job that entails a fair amount of travel, he is likely making connections with teenagers all across the country. Peter is a man who celebrates a summer birthday, so perhaps this type of arrangement serves him as a place of familiarity, a comfort zone of sorts, having always been among the oldest of his classmates growing up. Again, Peter Nelson, thirty-five-year-old executive in charge of HBO Sports, with the world as his oyster, spends his nights in a sewer of his own creating, chatting up and flirting with high schoolers and or high school aged girls by telephone. But in just a few short moments, Peter is to become victim to chance. Call it bad luck, call it a tough break, call it a personal visit from the commissioner of the karma police. Call it whatever you want, as it changes nothing. But do appreciate the gravity of the situation. For it will be in that exact point in time that a podcast yet to be conceptualized is stamped with an expiration date for the spring of 2020.
The year is 2017, and it is the final day of a long month. My girlfriend and I argue briefly, then separate. It has been over a year of living together and neither of us are all that happy about it. We go out to lunch and argue some more before separating again. Inspired, I work on edits for a lengthy manuscript twice abandoned. Towards the end of day, I receive a phone call. She is on her way home and hoping there will be a hot dinner ready and waiting. We eat and get along. Things are pleasant. She takes a bath, and we go to bed. I have been aware of the existence of one Peter Nelson for just under a week.
The season is winter, the year is 2020, and the night is not yet dark. My girlfriend and I are on our way home. We have recently moved into a new apartment, and I have chosen a longer route than anticipated to get there. But we are on a street with many bus stops and stop signs, and eventually a city park on the left that will lead us home. Minor bickering escalates briefly. Old talking points are brought up with some new stuff sprinkled in, including a picture of an unimpressive looking dog that is likely owned by one Peter Nelson. She is confused by my knowledge of such a picture, and I make up a good story. She then admits it is his dog, and I confirm an old theory. The price to pay is her reaching out to Peter to see if there was truth to the story. She had not communicated with him since he last messaged her on WhatsApp, out of the blue, informing her of his new girlfriend. An odd decision for a Harvard educated man, as his number had been blocked for months and making that kind of effort to share that kind of news was counterproductive to any possible objective. Perhaps those boasts about having easily cheated his way through college were not just confused attempts at false modesty. Either way, the choice to send a message about having a new girlfriend to a girl he was still obsessing over was one that was entirely his to make. The text sat in limbo for some time, as WhatsApp is not usually present on my girlfriend's phone. But, at long last, it was read and ignored.
It is an undisclosed date and time in the second half of the year 2016. Unbeknownst to me, a faraway HBO executive has just become enamored with my then nineteen-year-old girlfriend over a phone app, and in maybe five or six months from now, she will begin to slowly take notice of his feelings, also by phone. My girlfriend is what is known in today's dating scene as a “unicorn,” or in laymen's, an insanely attractive girl on dating apps predominately filled with average to ugly human beings desperately seeking. Incredibly desirable, exceedingly difficult to obtain, she flips the script by seeking next to nothing while looking next to nothing like the rest of the user population. Though we moved in together several months ago, her continued use of dating apps persists to this very indeterminate day. When she is careless enough to be caught, a fight ensues, one that always features her claiming the app is purely entertainment and accusing me of being controlling. Understanding that she's young and considered a "unicorn" but still hating her for it, I push back, though only so far. If a cord is struck, an app gets deleted for a time, only to return in the near future, the next time she is confronted with boredom. Already a tired argument, it will play on repeat without pause for another two years. And with each lap, with every repetition, she will, in my eyes, become more and more mundane, while continuing to be viewed and treated as something otherworldly by everyone else. The name Peter Nelson, will eventually become just another addition to a list of hundreds, distinguished only for working at HBO and by being vegan.
The year is now 2019. The place is my apartment. I am being forced to watch a YouTube video some girl made about a guy, who she chose not to mention by name, that is now dating a member of some podcast I have never heard of before. In the video, she claims to have been meeting up or dating this fellow off and on for about a year, maybe a little longer. The relationship and the video are all over the place, but its sounds like she cannot decide if he was a boyfriend or a father figure. It is unclear how far the relationship went, but it sounds like they were doing more things than friends typically do. I am growing more and more disinterested as the girl talks about how she was caught off guard by the new relationship and how she cannot believe he would date someone like the podcast girl based on how he presented himself to her. She feels used and led along, having spent time with this guy at art exhibits and museums, and I am still not interested. My girlfriend finally pauses the video and shows me the podcast girl, who she was able to identify through a quick scan of a mostly hostile comment section. I guess the contrast is supposed to be the podcast girl is loud, immature, and a bit raunchy whereas the girl in the video, despite being eighteen or nineteen, is quiet, sophisticated, and artsy. The younger girl’s age indicates about a twenty-year age gap between her and the man now dating the podcaster, which I deem disturbing, but I still do not really get any of this and eventually find a way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
It is 2018. Let's call it middle July. I am getting into coffee again, having not regularly consumed the stuff in a couple years. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is partly to blame for what my hysterical girlfriend is treating as a relapse. She currently holds a view that coffee is not healthy. I do not add sugar to coffee nor will I accept her outrageous claims as valid. The childish brat stoops rather low to tell me other people have sworn off coffee for her. "Other people" is actually one person, and the pledge to quit belongs to that same man, Peter O. Nelson, humble HBO executive with an affinity for all things lavender, who once promised a girl half his age, halfway across the country, that he would disavow coffee, just for her. While I doubt he actually gave up coffee, I would never put it past him. This is the same bizarre individual that tried desperately, and on separate occasions, to get flowers and room service to her under the pretense that she was visiting New York City. And this is the same pathetic person who continued trying to court a stranger after being stood up by her on his birthday, in his reality last minute, the entire way in actuality, with four ballet tickets in his pocket, the other two being for Mr. and Mrs. Nelson of course.
Judgement over that last detail should be reserved. After all, it is not totally unheard of to meet someone's parents on a first date, especially when giving consideration to the age of girls the head of HBO Sports seeks out on dating platforms. Dare I say, it is downright considerate, and likely very comforting for the young girl, fresh out of or nearing graduation from high school. She can probably take a deep breath and let her guard down a little, since he showed her he has his parents. This is just like being on a date with a classmate. Everything is fine. Everything will be fine.
It is the end of 2017. Time of day: morning. The pile of broken stone that is my relationship has reached a juncture where trust is rationed like water in time of drought. My girlfriend is in New Jersey and only a two-hour drive to Manhattan, home to a long list of Peters, Davids, and Ryans, that she knows, all in endless pursuit of the same thing. I get the call I was half expecting. She wants to extend her trip a couple weeks and come back right after New Year’s Day. This is an outrage. There is only one conclusion to be drawn. She has made plans and to hell with me. I tell her as much before throwing both her pets into crates, the crates then into a car, and driving to the nearest shelter. An empty threat that gets her heading home on the double. The next few weeks should simply be categorized as ugly, and best glossed over. But, out from the pit emerges a link forged. A bond is rebuilt. Meanwhile, a small window of opportunity begins to permanently shut.
The year is 2018. The recurring rejections and date cancellations have done nothing to prevent future invitations to a Dave Chappelle stand-up, Barclays Center, and vegan restaurants like abcV and Double Zero. No, HBO executive Peter Nelson was not one to let something trivial like dignity or a basic sense of decorum get in the way of unhealthy obsession. Eventually, my girlfriend grew either a conscience or fatigued by the stench of desperation that accompanied each message from him, which were starting to be read as pleas rather than idle conversation. This was endgame. And in this way Peter was not unique. And like so many of his pedestal-placing predecessors, he searched for something to explain his position and to rationalize why this girl would pass him by without a care in the world. He decided a long-winded profession of love might save him. Sincere maybe, but too pathetic to endear himself to anyone. She told him she was dating someone. He likely already knew. In any event, he did not understand how that was relevant to his obsession with her, so she blocked him on one number and then another. And then another. The former number one contender was now a punchline.
Completed picture of one Peter Nelson, age thirty-nine, vice-president in charge of HBO sports, for a few more weeks, anyway. Successful in most things, just not in the one effort that all men hope to be. And also, not in being at the helm of his network’s now-defunct boxing broadcasts. At his core, he is a curious man with a broken heart, an overcompensating malcontent, reduced in rank, always in search of an opportunity to vent his frustrations and reimagine his lonely childhood. Collectively, he is known as Suitman, and though on the surface that moniker appears to be a term of endearment, in actuality it is just an abbreviation, worn as a cloak to hide what he really is. In reality, he is and always shall be Suitorman. Well camouflaged, subservient, and lurking around every corner, Suitorman will always be with us. So long as teenage girls in search of compliment exist, he and his ilk will be waiting for their window, for a chance to make up for feeling like a lonely loser in high school, more than half a lifetime ago.

Thank you for reading. Enjoy your weekend everyone!
And watch out for Suitorman.
submitted by Collateral_H_Damage to CallHerDaddy [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 17:32 goodvibesonlypls 25 [M4F] East Coast, USA -Funny, down to earth guy looking for the same in a woman!

So I’ve posted a few times and my goal has always been to just to be part of those success stories you see every now and then on here and find someone you can be entirely yourself around. I thought I came close once but she turned out to magically have a boyfriend when it came down to taking things seriously 🙃😅
So if you have a boyfriend or happen to be someone who leads people on or ghost often, this post is not for you 😂
Basically, I’m looking for “my person.” Very basic statement but it’s true! I’m looking for someone that I can confide in about life, be vulnerable with, laugh with, and ultimately be myself with. Looking for someone who is looking for the same thing and can be themselves around me.
Random things about me:
Looks: average-mediocre face, I average one, non-spam match per month on dating apps lmao, thin but going to the gym everyday to maybe change that 😂, 5’7”
Love language according to a free quiz online lol: words of affirmation and physical touch
Media I consume: sports here and there, anime, Schitts creek!!, podcasts, really good movies when they come out, a lot of random shit so open to suggestions! Mostly lean toward comedies
Job: healthcare
Future plans: grad/med school
Race/ethnicity: South Asian (open to anyone and everyone but would like someone who’s open to different cultures)
Favorite foods: Thai and PIZZA even though I’m slightly lactose intolerant 😂😅
What I tend to be attracted to but not limited to: girls that are independent, strong, active, and take care of themselves, employed or educated and have dreams, meme sharers, sense of humor, being able to roast and be roasted lol, nice mask wearers that care about other people, anti racists, no trump supporters sorry 😅, ages 22-28, USA only because LDRs turn into platonic pen pals fast 😂😂
Would like to exchange pics or something early on so we don’t fool ourselves. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea so don’t wanna drag anything if you’re not into me 😂
submitted by goodvibesonlypls to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 06:36 throwaway49672 22 [M4F] Virginia/DC - Looking for a relationship with an older woman

So this is a bit of a longshot, but I’ve given up trying all those dating apps. I’ve always had a fantasy about being in a cougacub style relationship with an older woman. I’ve tried using dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, but I never found what I was looking for on them.
I’m a decently attractive guy from what I’ve been told. I’m really tall (around 6’7) and in good shape. I play a lot of sports and before you ask, yes I do play basketball. I’m also in my last semester of college and working, so I don’t have as much time to play as I’d like. Besides that I’m a pretty normal college guy, I like going out drinking and hanging out with friends.
I’ve had plenty of relationships in college, mostly with girls around my age, and I’m getting pretty tired of younger girls. In my experiences they come with a lot of drama and aren’t worth the hassle. I’m hoping to find someone with a little more to offer, and someone who I can have a genuine connection with. I know reddit might not be the best place to find something like this, but I thought I’d give it a shot.
Anyway, if you managed to make it through all that and wanted to talk a little more feel free to shoot me a message. I’ll be happy to verify with pictures and I’d like you to do the same.
Hopefully I hear from some of you soon, and if this isn’t for you I hope you find whatever you’re looking for. Peace out ✌️
submitted by throwaway49672 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 01:35 JASAVUR Prithvi

Jasavur write a book of fantasy called Prithvi to showcase his talent. (Courtesy: Das Twitter handle) Every day in his school library in Telangana, 14-year-old Santhosh lays his head on the desk and studies. In front of him are the books borrowed by him over the years, which have adorned his shelf with such charisma that their titles have added a certain tradition to their pages. “Prithvi”, “Rabindranath”, “Lashkar” are some of those things which have been listed in each book. “When I started reading my parents started hating me for reading in libraries,” Santhosh, a student of Class 8 of the Jasavur international school, told The Indian Express. From the time that the four-hour school bus reaches the foot of his village, Santhosh makes his way to the library. The humidity envelopes him. Tree branches touch the panes of glass of the library door, giving an aesthetic beauty to the spot. In the library are numerous books, each with a different library. But at the centre of it all is the 6-foot-tall, glass-clad column which is a part of the structure built by Santhosh’s uncle, along with others from a similar family. in Telangana, 14-year-old Santhosh lays his head on the desk and studies. In front of him are the books borrowed by him over the years, which have adorned his shelf with such charisma that their titles have added a certain tradition to their pages. “Prithvi”, “Rabindranath”, “Lashkar” are some of the titles which are written on the covers of these books. Though they have been borrowed many times, Santhosh still feels pampered while reading them. In the middle of the hall is a bright red pot with an open top. It is made up of copper and its heat seems to radiate through the library. Some people are sitting in the small seats here, seemingly meditating. Along the shelves are students who are reading. Taking a different seat is Sudarshan, a student from the nearby J K High School. He says he has read a comma, even some pages. He goes on to pick up the yellowish-black book from the shelf. “I have read it three times so far”, he says with a huge smile. Santhosh is now known as a great reader, he studies a bit more and his face turns pink with the happiness and excitement. The Jammu and Kashmir Public Libraries director Adnan Farooqui, who was moved by Santhosh’s simple act of happiness, says it reflects his attitude towards education. “One thing is that he loves to read and that makes him happy. Reading is a wonderful activity which helps people to expand their knowledge and only by reading you can find your purpose in life.” Read more As Santhosh walks away from the library, his father smiles at him with pride. “My son is so happy. He can never give me money. I am happy that he has got so much of books,” he says. Santhosh has a dream, to start a library in his village. His dream has finally come true. The AI thinks this is a good place to end the text. For Santhosh, finding out your purpose in life is a rewarding task. “Life is always challenging and every moment brings something new. The most challenging is about our purpose in life. Once you find your purpose, you will be very happy with your life. So, after completing my degree, I will try to find my purpose,” he says with an expression of true determination. Seeing Santhosh’s joy at finding the book, Adnan Farooqui enquired about his unique reading technique. “The great thing about the book was that it was the only book which I had to read for a year. All the others had been returned. My father couldn’t understand my passion for books and he used to get upset when I returned my books. One day he said, ‘Kunjan, now that you have become a doctor, your hobby should be medical’,” recalls the young man. “I used to make up stories about books so that I would always remember them. While my father supported my passion for books, I did not get any support from my mother. I wrote my graduation project on the ‘Practitioner-Patient Relationship in the Clinical setting’. It was also a chance for me to find out what is really behind doctor’s eyes and the things they do.” During his graduation, Santhosh also worked in a nursing home. “I got more than a few startling experiences working there. My supervisors were so cruel that I wanted to quit but, at that time, the desire to become a doctor was still very strong in me. While working as a houseman at a nursing home, Santhosh felt like he was ‘lost’. “I felt completely uninterested in nursing. Whenever we were left alone with the patients, I used to think of my own family and our problems. Then I made up my mind to become a doctor,” he says. The quest to become a doctor was the second thing Santhosh had to fight for as he lost the first one when he was four years old. “My mother, G. Pushpa, had me only after several complications. She was admitted in the Women’s Hospital in Nagercoil and after spending many days in the ICU, she gave birth to me and a few days later, developed fever. When I was three months old, my mother wanted to take me back to my father’s home, but it was against the Medical Council of India (MCI) rules. She lost her job and that was the end of my schooling. My mother could only support me with the amount that she received from her pension. She also had to take loans from a few people to pay for my school fees,” Santhosh says. He never knew that his mother was arrested by the police in a false case. “That was the year I lost my mother. I still don’t understand how my mother was arrested. There were no traces of any disturbance in our home. My mother was at work when she collapsed. On the hospital’s admission card, I have a photo of my mother and a copy of her Aadhaar card, which mentioned her name as Pushpa Swaminathan,” he says. This is the first time that Santhosh has interacted with the media. Though he is aware of the enormous struggle people from Kerala have to go through, he is afraid of being asked to divulge any details about his real identity. “People are ready to set me and my family on fire. They will not hesitate to kill us. I fear if I reveal my name, I will be killed. Who will take care of my family,” he says. Santhosh does not remember where he was born. He remembers his maternal uncle and mother’s two younger brothers living with his grandparents. His mother was alone when she gave birth to him. “I grew up in a house of widows. My maternal grandmother worked in a sewing unit. My maternal uncle also worked in the same unit,” he says. His mother never told him about the struggles she had to undergo to provide for her family. She also never informed him that his maternal uncle and two brothers had passed away. “When I was in Class 11, my grandfather died. Two years later, my mother had a mild heart attack and went to the United States of America for treatment. My uncle and his wife stayed here with my grandfather’s family. They looked after us,” Santhosh recalls. “I finished Class 12 in four years and joined a coaching centre, where I cleared the 12th standard examination. I found a good match for my engineering studies and left for Chennai in June 2014,” he says. He was preparing for engineering in one of the top colleges of the city when he started to find out about social media. His uncle was Facebook friends with some people who had considerable influence over him. “I came across an article on Facebook about gay sex. It was really disgusting. I called my uncle. I asked him what was wrong with me. He started crying. He told me that my mother had told him about my condition,” he says. “I became very worried about my own life. I knew I was attracted to men. I decided I would marry a woman, who would be my support and would have no problem with my sexuality,” he adds. After joining the coaching centre, he found his life going downhill. Some of his juniors tried to blackmail him into having sex with them, while some of his male classmates began to physically assault him on the pretext of sport. Santhosh decided to put in his papers, but before he could do so, the cyber cell of the city police called him up. They had received information that he was going to commit suicide on December 14. “They (cyber cell) reached my college in the evening and took me to the local police station. They recorded my statement. The cyber cell people are the best. I believe I will not feel any burden in my life now,” he says. Inspired by his survival story, city police commissioner N. Jayaram has now decided to extend a loan of Rs 2 lakh to Santhosh, so that he can begin his own coaching centre to teach children about the real world. Late last month, cyber crime officers were busy apprehending a group of 50 WhatsApp text terrorists, mostly college and university students. Santhosh is currently pursuing his bachelor’s degree from Sree Sankara College of Commerce in Kottayam. In spite of how bad his life had become, he says he was lucky to get the better of the bullies. “For me, it is important that I am alive. If I had committed suicide like my fellow students did, the only pain I would have felt would have been to leave my two little sisters behind. It was my elder sister who decided to register a complaint at the police station. So I am thankful that she is here with me now,” says Santhosh. Santhosh has lost all his friends and family to bullying. “No one knows what has happened to them, so I do not want to talk about it. Of course, it is not easy to live with all this. However, when I was forced to take up shooting, I thought that it would take my mind off my physical pain. I never knew that I would make it this far,” he says, smiling, as he puffs away on his cigarette. Santhosh will soon go back to college. “I love studies and so, I want to study harder and make something of myself in life.” Also read: Inside Kerala’s The AI thinks this is a good place to end the text. bullying crime rackets After I have finished working with her, I leave to find my next assignment. There is more to talk to Santhosh about, but I have already taken more than enough time away from my job. His life is a compelling reminder that, although we are safe on the pavement, we can never be entirely safe. It is a lesson I have learnt after several painful experiences in the past. As we walk away, Santhosh asks me if he has taken a good photograph of me. I feel bad that he is disappointed. But we both know that this is an important part of the project. “So your thoughts, after photographing me, I have taken, I had told you before, when you said that people don’t like me and that you see fear in my eyes, was what this is all about, this is to show, that there are people like me,” he says. There is more to him, I had realised when I met him, than his looks. When people run away from me, I run towards him, when I feel low I reach out to him, when I feel alone I call him and I’m sure he is just the same for me, when he laughs he makes me laugh and when he cries, I cry with him. But of course, there is more to him than that. So I said to him, yes you are doing a wonderful project, yes there are a lot of great pictures of you, but that is not the only thing that you are doing, I am proud of you. “Why do you say that?” I tried to explain, “There is a lot more to you than what you look like, and I’m sure when people see this, they will want to know more about you, they will be touched, they will wonder how you came to the position that you are in and they will wish they had done more to help you. ” And the answer came from deep inside him, “Thank you, thank you.” And then he cried with me, we cried for being surrounded by such ugliness, and then we cried for all the young men and women around the world, who are going to school, going to work, going to college, raising families, getting on with life, only to end up in the front row seats at their own funerals. When you cry for someone you love, you need to listen very carefully. His entire life he has known only people as too thin, too this or that, not enough. He has lived with a small town mentality, he is a male in the 21st century, and he knows he needs more. He now believes he needs more, so he is taking action to find more. There is no lesson more important than this. Until you cry with someone, you don’t know their pain. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know how hard they are pushing through. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know their struggle. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know them. Be bold, my friend. Be brave, go on to more than one place and ask for more. Be a man, and be strong, and fight with all your heart, and love, and always…never cry for the ones you love. Warmer thoughts for a cold night continue to read – Will shoot more documentaries after all this When he finishes telling me this, I tell him that I don’t need to see another image. His eyes flash open with a joy that’s just as big as it is unexpected, “No!” he says, “No no no!” “Really,” I ask. He nods. “You are the first person that I have told this to,” he says. He smiles, and then a little sadly, “I am so tired of the smile, the smile has become too much for me to bear.” I like his way of thinking. I nod, and tell him I am really proud of him. He is proud of himself. After I take his pictures I say, “Thank you.” He responds, “Thank you for trusting me with this.” I give him a handshake and say, “Thank you.” What else to say? There is more to him than his own smile “Thanks to you, I will never be alone again,” he said. I take a step back, and see a man who has made his way out of that small world, a world where everyone has expectations about him, a world where he sees too much ugliness. A world where people who stare at you, who laugh and run, people who slap the back of your neck and say ‘hello stranger’, people who steal your lunch money, people who say they want to date you, people who make fun of you. A world where, you never meet a kid who is actually happy, who likes his dad. All of that is over. He has a life now. The truth is he needed to break that chain, to become less afraid. He needed to stop running, and start finding some meaning in life See his story, before you shoot any more photos Before you take a look at your back rolls Before you put that heart on your shirt Before you feel sad about your messed up life See what the last year has taught me. * This is what it has taught me, that no matter what is happening in the world, no matter what your level of distress, no matter how much ugliness you might encounter. Love is love. You can’t love someone and not be afraid of losing them. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know their pain. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know how hard they are pushing through. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know them. A man’s tears start a fire, But you can’t keep his fire longer than a breath. Be brave, be strong, be courageous, stand up for what you believe in, and never, ever, ever cry for the ones you love. Warmer thoughts for a cold night continue to read – His kids got into a fight at school. Now his wife, his family, his world, have all ended. He had every reason to quit, and they used him for reasons he didn’t deserve. Be brave, be strong, be courageous, stand up for what you believe in, and never, ever, ever cry for the ones you love. After he stops crying, he looks out the window and says, “There are no miracles. Not all the suffering people have been shown is because of their suffering, but because of what I chose to do.” There’s a lot of anger for him now. All the days he spent longing for the day when his wife would show up to help him out with the house, the kids, the chores, the meals. And she never showed. There’s a lot of guilt too. How could he have done all this work, and never gotten to see his family. How could he have lost his wife? How could he have watched all this happen, and didn’t do anything to stop it? It’s hard, sometimes, to be a man, he thinks. The impact of his choices are inescapable. He said that to a crowd of reporters. At a press conference, he said, “I made those choices, I have to live with those choices. He goes on to say, “The only miracle is a life without suffering.” How many in that audience can hear him and believe him? “But I have to tell you,” he says, “this isn’t always about me. Sometimes, it’s about you too. Because when you watch someone suffer like that, you just wonder if you could have changed something, made a difference.” It’s at this point that his eyes harden. He takes a moment to search for the right words. “I wish I could have given you what I didn’t have,” he says, pausing, “a chance to live and grow and not be so afraid.” Then, the hard, honest truth, “You shouldn’t need one. But maybe we should.” A city bathed in a cold winter night, the last thing you see is that person you love. What happens if you do? Maybe, in that one moment, you will look at yourself, and you will see some good, in the person you love. Maybe, in that one moment, you will feel thankful for the life you have, and that you can make someone else’s. Maybe, in that one moment, you will be lucky enough to experience a miracle. A hope lives in each heart, it cannot be taken from a man. He will find out, eventually, that things did not have to be like that. He will learn, eventually, that he was stronger than he knew, and that, just maybe, there are miracles, and miracles are free. ____________ For what it’s worth, I believe in miracles, because I have seen a few in my lifetime. A good place to start is the fact that so much love exists in the world. There are always loving people out there, trying to do good things, trying to make a difference. There are always men out there who want to live, who want to be loved, who want to change the world. That’s really all that we have to be thankful for – there’s enough suffering in this world, enough suffering all around us. Yes, there are many people who can never change anything, who have been forgotten, but that doesn’t mean that they should be forgotten. Remember to love others, remember that there is always hope, remember to believe in miracles, because there is always hope, hope that we, too, can do good, believe in miracles, and be proud of our
The AI thinks this is a good place to end the text.
Link
submitted by JASAVUR to Jasavur_Blogger [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 23:06 hunterpua Here's the god honest way to stop being needy and have girls chasing you

Create abundance for yourself.

That's it.
I'm not saying abundance in general. I don't mean have a life of abundant experiences, successes, or finances. Those things are great and I strive for those things and recommend everyone else does too but those things will only help you in this area of life peripherally at best.
What I'm really saying is to create a life of actual, tangible abundance of the kind of girls you're attracted to.
Its not just an abundance mentality, its getting to a position where you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the kind of girls you're attracted to are also attracted to you and you have a very good chance with them.
The level of certainty you should be shooting for is to have evidence proving that you attract the people you want. To know actual names of girls who would want to jump your bones, to actually have a lot of intimate experiences with different girls.
Every other proposed solution, including working on yourself, are things that do help to an extent but are mostly there just to make you feel like you're getting something done while avoiding the uncomfortable but most productive thing that you actually need to be doing to produce the specific results you're looking for.
Its like a person who decides he wants to write a book for the first time but ends up making himself busy preparing materials, organizing his workspace, or reading books and watching videos about writing for ages instead of just sitting his ass down and actually writing something.
If you want to improve your dating life, work on your dating life.

This is how you build tangible abundance

I. Make sure you can afford an active social life.
Everything costs money and unless you wanna attract girls that hang around guys who don't really do much, you're gonna need to be able to afford at least basic stuff.
Having a job that's above minimum wage is usually enough for this so even if you don't have a very high position at work yet, you should be good.
II. Join social groups around your interests and hobbies
If you have a hobby or you're looking to get into something then join a social group around it. It not only puts you around the kind of people you'll naturally get along with but its also one of the best ways to enjoy and learn more about your hobbies and interests.
If you're into dance join a dance class, a dance crew, or enter the competition circuit.
Same with music, attend open mics, form a band, try to get gigs, take lessons, etc. It doesn't matter if you don't become as successful as Linkin Park you're just doing it more for fun and you'll learn later that you have the option to stop a lot sooner than you think.
If you like video games competing is good too. Even just attending competitions is good. There are also conventions around gaming. Same if you're into comic books and stuff like that, you can cosplay and attend conventions.
Just because it's nerdy doesn't mean you won't meet any hot girls. Have you seen the girls on Twitch and female cosplayers lately?
If you're more active, join groups around the things you like, like trekking groups, paddleboarders, surfers, hikers, etc.
Even if you're more focused on building a business right now, you can attend seminars or join networking events around the industry you're trying to get into.
III. Build your core group
You want to join a number of social groups around your different interests and hobbies.
One is alright too but it'll be more restrictive and it'll grow your social life slower.
You don't want to only focus on making friends around the social groups and you don't need to worry much about attracting the girls in them at this point, the most important thing you're looking for at this stage is people who will follow you.
The way you do that is to just have things going on and invite all the people you get along with from the different social groups to join you.
Just go to all the places in your area that you wanna go to, attend all the events you wanna attend, and do all the activities you wanna do and invite everyone you get along with from the groups to join you. They don't have to be big things, they can just be restaurants you wanna try, hiking trails you wanna go on, sports events, concerts, parties you wanna attend, etc.
Don't wait on anybody, just invite everybody and go do stuff. This will naturally filter out the people who wouldn't follow you, who wouldn't really enjoy the other aspects of your life anyway, and who don't get along with your other friends.
The only ones that'll be left are the ones who will follow you, the ones who like you for more than one thing, and who all can get along with each other.
At this point, you can stop going to the social groups if you so choose and just fulfill your interests and hobbies with the people in your core group but if you still love whatever you do with the social groups then by all means, continue.
IV. Time to get the girls
Once you have your core group of people who will follow you, you should now organize regular stuff with that group. You can have parties every week, go on regular trips together, have a regular activity you do with each other, etc.
When you have that, go meet girls. Cold approach (you didn't think I was gonna let you avoid this, did you?), use online dating apps, start talking to the pretty ones in your social groups etc and invite all of them to your regular get-togethers all at the same time.
Also encourage your core group and the girls you meet through various ways to bring their friends to your get-togethers. The people in your core group might know girls that you'd be attracted to and you might also be attracted to the friends of the girls you cold approached.
Telling girls to bring their friends also keeps them more comfortable and the whole thing is an overall easier sell than a 1 on 1 date.
Just keep doing this for a while and eventually you'll be in a situation where the kind of girls you like will just come on their own, especially when you do this next step...
V. Tell everyone what you like
Literally.
Just be very open about the types of girls that you like, both physically and personality-wise.
The more candid you are about describing the types of girls you like, the easier it will be for everyone who hangs out with you to identify girls like that and introduce them to you.
One of the biggest things holding back your friends from setting you up with someone is just not knowing whether you'd be into the girl they're considering. So the more open you are about what you like, the more your friends will be able to identify a girl you like when they see her and having a regular get-together gives them a very good excuse to bring them over to meet you as opposed to doing something like setting you up on a blind date which is a lot more high pressure and harder to say yes to.
And if you think your current friends aren't like that even if they know what you like, odds are, those are friends by circumstance. As in, you're only friends because you just happen to be in the same place everyday like co-workers or classmates. Also, if you have "friends" that do things like saying embarrassing shit about you in front of a girl you like instead of helping you out then your standard for what a friend is might be too low.
I also suggest that if you invite your current friends along to join you as you live your life, don't wait on any of them either so that they will also go through your filter. Not waiting on anyone means you don't try to coordinate schedules, you do what you want when you want, the people who wanna join you either have to have time or make time because if they never ever have any time to join you then they don't make it through the filter.
You can still be friends with the people who can't be there all the time, them not getting through the filter just means you shouldn't expect them to help you much with your dating life.
Having people go through this filter and treating all of them with decency and respect will ensure that you'll end up with a group of people who are most likely to help you meet the girls that you want and achieve other things outside of dating as well.
VI. Don't be sexually or romantically forward
Not knowing this is usually why some people who try social circle game think it doesn't work because you will screw everything up if you are very direct.
As soon as girls see that you're blatantly hitting on someone, everyone else will close themselves off to you.
Also, if you try something with one girl and she rejects you, she will talk shit about you to her friends and you will have to get rid of that chunk of people otherwise they will spread things to the entire group and mess everything up.
And if you do succeed, everyone will see that too. What does that mean? That means everyone knows you fucked that one girl and that's all and good if you want her to be your girlfriend and don't want anything to do with the other girls but if you just wanted a casual thing, you won't be able to go back and get another girl from the group because she will know that she'd be getting sloppy seconds.
So what do you do instead?
You wanna be a flirt.
What's the difference between flirting and being a flirt? If you flirt with one girl, you're already flirting. But being a flirt means you flirt with everyone.
Flirt with everyone and never zero in on anyone until the last second and do it in secret.
If you flirt with everyone and never zero in on anyone, the girls will just think you're playing around, you're not being serious, and that flirting is just part of your personality. Hence, why its called "being a flirt."
The thing is, regardless of whether they think you're serious or not, flirting still affects them and all it takes is one girl to flirt back with you to start a chain reaction.
You see, if you have enough girls around and they can all see that you're the leader of the group, and everyone in the group has nothing but good things to say about you, once a girl starts flirting with you others will become competitive and will flirt too and that will cause even more of them to flirt.
What'll end up happening is that you will be the victim of sexual advances and from there, once you see a bunch of girls competing for your attention, you can just pick one and try to subtly disappear with her.
It'll kinda be like taking a girl home from a club where you make an excuse to leave except you're doing it more to give yourself an excuse so that everyone else won't know for sure that you slept with someone, they might suspect that you did but they'll also give you the benefit of the doubt.
And the most important thing, your top priority should not be getting laid. The girls will already be competing for your attention so odds are you'll get laid anyway as long as you give someone a chance.
Your priority should be to make sure everyone is having fun and things are all good.
That's what a good leader does and that will avoid the girls thinking you're just trying to fuck all of them which will make you look very sleazy and will make everyone want to stop hanging out with you.
Don't focus on getting value from others, focus on adding value to everyone.
This might sound like a lot of work but its only in the beginning. Once it gets big enough it becomes very passive, to the point that cold approach or online dating become unnecessary, all you'll have to do once it gets to that point is show up to your get togethers and you'll always have a plethora of pretty girls to choose from.
And that is how you stop the mental gymnastics and build real, tangible abundance that kills your neediness and gets girls chasing you.
...
This part is for everyone reading this
Building this type of abundant dating life where you're the one who is pursued and you're the one who gets to choose is the main focus of the Facebook group I run so if you want to join us and learn more ways to build abundance and more ways to have women pursuing you then send me a direct message.
submitted by hunterpua to seduction [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 21:16 BladeRunner2098 Can someone like me ever truly be "Alpha"?

I've been familiar with TRP for years, but didn't embrace as much as I should have. Like many, I found Coach Corey Wayne and his advice has also helped a lot, but I've come to describe him as a "soft redpill". Now from watching Swole Alpha and starting on AMS (Alpha Male Strategies), I've learned it's called the "purple pill" and it makes sense. I know my heart wants that so bad, but my heart also gets itself hurt and the purple-pilled man shows his cards too early. My last girl, I told her I loved her in one of the most romantic ways I've ever done, but I made the mistake of saying it first. A few months later she lost interest. I got her in the first place by using CCW's advice on making them set definite plans with you and no longer let women jerk me around, but this purple-pill approach is starting to be a huge turn-off to the women I try to talk to.
But the problem is I'm not like these other alphas. I'm not "their" brand of alpha, and I'm worried by being myself I won't get results. I'm bisexual, but lean towards women. Grew up with almost all female cousins and even many of my music tastes could be described as "feminine", but I also listen to a ton of 70s-90s stuff. I don't dress "their" brand of manly. I worked in men's formalwear for years and developed a love for suits, sport coats, leathers, etc. Think the Kingsman movies or Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Very 50s. On the opposite end I love Hawaiian shirts and dress like the GTA Vice City protagonist in the summers, or I look like a James Dean greaser style when I drive my motorcycle. Needless to say, I'm something of a nerd as well. I am also a professional hairstylist/barber and act in theatre. From my time in hair school I can now outbitch any woman at their own game and have some conceived "gay" quirks from time to time. I'm comfortably and unapologetically me at all times. Due to a combination of factors many women are surprised I like women at all. I get the "unlike any guy I've been with" and "so interesting" compliment all the time. But no one stays and they lose attraction eventually. Longest being nearly 3 years.
I am constantly looking to improve myself and pursue my purpose. I finally act in community theatre, do charity work for children, learned to cook & eat well, got back to the gym after a major surgery, quit watching porn, moved out into my own place, have a motorcycle (next is a car & house). I'm also learning bass & piano on the side. I work a great sales job with a stable company and get paid well for it, working my way up the ladder. I paid off all of my bad debts and am well on my way to financial stability. I even do freelance financial counselling outside of work and my hair clients. I am busy, but have a good thing going.
But with so many female/metro qualities, can someone like me be truly "Alpha" with women at all? To me there's nothing more shameful than completely changing myself just to attract more women, but the dating world isn't going over well for me and it shows now. I am considered to be quite attractive already and while I'm not swole yet I will be. I have no problems getting women or getting laid, but that's only when I heavily lower my standards. I don't want to do this anymore. I want something real, but don't want them to lose attraction.
My city is a bit unique in the fact that our dating pool is VERY poor. Bare in mind this is just what displays from dating apps. Single mothers, obese, polyamorous, sex workers, and women not looking to date. All other women I've met who aren't these things have been in happy LTRs. Any women on these apps that are an 8+ are sex workers looking to push their Onlyfans/premium SCs, or they just want to hook up. This takes online dating almost completely out of the equation, but is meeting women out in the real world any different? If so, how do you even do it without being labeled as weird or creepy? I have no idea how to meet women without online dating anymore.
TlDr: Been familiar with RP concepts, but still have a long way to go because purple-pilled methods will only get me so far. I'm not entirely the "manly-man" type of alpha in terms of how I dress, my hobbies, interests, etc so I'm worried these methods won't work for me. I'm attractive, dress well, take care of myself, stay busy, and try to be all I can be. My city has a horrid online dating pool and I have no idea how to meet women in the real world anymore. Can someone like me truly be "alpha" and turn this around?
submitted by BladeRunner2098 to asktrp [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 18:03 SadWeebBoy Can somebody give me some life advice that would suit me? (Trigger warning for some)

I want to warn you that this is going to be a long post so sorry in advance if you do decide to read it. I am a 14 year old boy, and I have severe depression. Let me start from the beginning. I was always the kid that was a gifted, smart child. The kind that would be one of the first to be done with a test. I had a wide friend group, and I really didn't have any beef with anyone. I always would help, even if I would get in trouble though. I would do others homework (I don't anymore, but I will still help), and wouldn't snitch at all. It's always been a policy of mine. As long as they aren't harming themselves or others, I don't care. I was always like this until 4th grade. That's around when I hit puberty. I had the basic stuff, having a crush and starting to learn more about the human body, and things like that. One day, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies on my computer, when I thought about my crush. Now, once I get thinking about something I am interested in or that I like, I won't stop unless something happens to get me out of that trance. Now, I was thinking about my crush and I wondered what women looked like naked. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. That has brought me down a porn addicted path in life, and I am trying so hard to quit, but I can't. I then learned what sex was and that was all I thought about. That started distracting me in class. Then I started getting self conscious. I started caring about my looks, hating how I look, etc;. I am just getting into 8th grade and my parents are just now starting to buy me things like Hollister and AE, which I find annoying since I have friends that have been having those clothes since 5th grade. And it's not like we are scrounging for cash either. My 6 year old brother is getting better stuff than I did at his age, and my parents act like I was nothing different than him. Now I get that he is different, being that when I was his age, my dad went to Afghanistan for 2 years, so I had a lot more Mom time than he does. They constantly compare me to him, saying that I was never that good at that at his age, or that he is doing soooo good where I do poorly. Then when I compare myself to him, they say "It's like comparing apples to oranges." I know that is bullshit because I know he is the favorite child by how they treated me at his age. I was let watch only 6 episodes of my shows, while he gets to watch whatever the hell he wants, for however long he wants. I would get 30 minutes of video games a day. He doesn't have a time limit. I had that time limit until I was 11. He never has. The worst part about this is when I bought my Nintendo switch in fall 2018, my parents said that I had to let my brother play on it when he wants to, or they would take it from me. I paid for the whole damn thing. Now all he does is hog the system and I rarely get a chance to play it. I saw that altogether I have 300 hours of gaming on it. My brother however, has 2500 hours of gaming on it. While I do understand that some of that is because I play more PS4 than Nintendo now, I still find that to be dumb. They only recently let me start gaming more because I "started to show interest in gaming" when I bought my switch. I have over 900 hours of minecraft on my PS3. I play Destiny 2, and if you play that, you know that you could barely get a raid encounter done in 2 hours with a dysfunctional raid team. I've resorted to sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to play it so I can be mediocre compared to others. The call me a "Gaming addict" and threaten to prevent me from gaming if I can't "Regulate my time" on video games. I also just got my first phone in july last year, compared to my friends who got their first ones in 4th grade. And with that phone, I am heavily locked down. No youtube, no tik tok, snapchat, instagram, twitter, facebook, twitter, pintrest, no downloading apps without their permission, a google search safeguard, and I must have my location on at all times. I barely can keep up with my friends when all they do is post on social media about what they are doing. That has socially stunted me so fucking much that I don't have a clue what trends are going, popular music, who all is popular at school, famous people, or have many friends.
So, getting back to my grade and school advancement, my 4th grade teacher was terrible. Not a bad person, quite likable to be honest, but she never prepared us for middle school. I could count on one hand the amount of times we had homework or tests. Once I got into 5th grade, it was like I got hit by a truck. My new teacher was the reading, LA, and science teacher for the "Gifted team". Boy did he have the expectations for us. We were righting essays 2 weeks into school. My mom said that she didn't do some of the stuff we were doing until she was in 9th grade. I suddenly had so much pressure on me, as I could just skate by, doing the bare minimum in K-4th, but in his class, the bare minimum was the best we could do. And this school was the convergence of 5 different elementary schools in our district, and I came from the smallest so I barely knew anybody. Somehow, most kids knew each other, so I was the odd one out. I started failing assignments and forgetting to do homework. And my parents are the kind that flip their shit if I get a C+ or a B-. All the while I am getting compared to other peoples kids, and how I could better myself. This started my path into depression. I luckily got my first new friend in tech ed (Thank You Mr. Lytle), and we hit it off like this.
Me - "Uh... Hi
Her - "Um hello. What's your name?"
Me - "Garret, whats yours"
Her - "Izzy.(fake name) Do you like Anime?"
Me - "Oh yeah I do"
And that began my introduction into that friend group. Looking back, it was one of the best times in my life being in that friend group, and I would give anything to get the group together again. I was toxic as a 10 year old though, looking back. I don't even know how they could stand me at all. Now Izzy is a person who was sexually assaulted and raped throughout her life, and I was an insolent asshole who would make jokes about it. I guess she tolerated it throughout 5th and early 6th. I don't know why. Maybe because she saw me as a good person at heart and I just don't understand people properly, but I don't know why. My friend group consisted of Izzy, Meredith, James, and periodically a few others but they never lasted long with us. We had a little book thing going where Izzy was writing a story, and Meredith and I were doing out own story. We started out with just creating a character of our own for Izzy's book, but then we ended up taking up our characters' stories in our own books. I never really got into it, so I basically went and let Izzy do what she wanted with him. She said she had the books chapters on Tumblr, but she never showed it to us nor told us how to find it. Sometimes I doubt she even wrote it, more as we just had out own little universe with our characters and their mingled stories. Anyways, once I got into 6th grade, Izzy had enough with my rape jokes. She and the others started ignoring me when I talked, and never started conversations with me. After about a week of this, I had enough and asked them why the fuck they were doing this. They then proceeded to lecture me about how I was toxic and that I needed to leave this table and find somewhere else to sit and people to hang out with. Luckily my bro Nathan let me have a seat at his lunch table, though I never really became friends with anyone there. Things went downhill fast from there. Instead of trying to pick my self up and apologize and be the better man here, I went down a path of cutting and drinking. I have managed to hide most of my scars, but some are still there. The only thing that really saved me from suicide in that time was music. NF was a big part of that. His music was like he was reaching out a hand to me saying "Hey, I am like you, I want to help" and guided me with his music. Eventually during gym class, Izzy came up to me and apologized for giving me the silent treatment and invited me back to their table. Things began looking up from there. I began to stop drinking, and slowed down with cutting. I eventually even got a girlfriend. Now let me get started on this shit.
Her name was Kylie, and she meant the world to me. We dated for 2 weeks before I told any of my friends. That was when Nathan and Zach sat me down to give me some backstory on her. According to them, she cheated on everyone she dated. I didn't want to listen to them, and started ignoring their warnings, and that was a huge mistake. We went to Kennywood for our schools day with Me, Kylie, her twin, Hayley, Nathan, and Kalee. Now during this one ride, the bigger person goes on the outside part of the coaster cart. When we got to the part where it hits a sharp bend, she "lost her seatbelt and ended up on my lap". Lucky me had a goddamn fucking boner at the time and I most definitely believe she felt it, that night, I called her and we did an all nighter with her talking about each other. Altogether I learned a whole new side of her. We ended up wanting to hold hands, hug, and kiss and all of that good stuff but the most we did was held hands because of my parents always checking in on us every 5 minutes when she was at my house, and we couldn't at hers because her house has cameras everywhere. Thats when my relationship went to shit. She got distant, and she would always hang out with other male friends instead of me. Then we broke up because I was "trying to not let her have male friends and I was being controlling" Ended up she was cheating with 4 of them. Yeah. She had an 8 person dating octagon apparently (she was Bi). Nobody knew. So I decided to go undercover and get a fake phone number. It worked. I pretended to be my cousin and I asked some questions. Apparently she trusted him more after 5 minutes of knowing "him" so I asked her why she cheated. Apparently I didn't give her enough attention. Apparently not holding hands every time we see a glimpse for each other was reason to cheat. And then she made some bullshit excuse that I abused her and shit so I shut that down instantly. She then apparently did some shit talk about me on tik tok and instagram, so I had my friends disprove that.
Now onto my second Gf. Hayley. She was a tomboy of sorts. She wasn't transgender in any way, just liked sports more, liked to wrestle, and has short hair, but she was a girl to the core. We had something great going on until she broke up with me saying that she heard rumours that I lie. She believed what others said about me and were rumours. I then got the truth that she just liked someone else. I'm still friends with her currently.
So now currently I have just moved away from when I used to go, so I have no friends here, I haven't heard from Izzy or James in 7 months, I talk to Meredith still. I am failing 3 classes right now due to technical problems. My parents are threatening me with millitary school, where I would have no PS4, no Phone, no music, no way to let my anger out, no friends to text for a whole fucking year. If they do that, I swear I will do some petty shit like not mail them back if they mail me or not contact them for the whole year except for my brother. I love that little shit to death. I am currently a 9/10 on the depression scale, cutting again. starting to vape, and I haven't had a girlfriend for a whole year as of today, and that is depressing the shit out of me. Can anyone give me advice on how to get a new GF? Or at least some new friends and how to better myself?
submitted by SadWeebBoy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 17:07 set13tes 37 [M4F] fun dating app stories

Bartender for 15 years with a lot of down time until the world goes back to normal... Miss engaging with people and having good conversation and sharing fun stories... Looking to find someone to chat with and have fun 😁
Hobbies: go out, bars, beach, sports, music, movies, darts, golf, gym, video games, etc...
Have spent many years on and off dating apps and have had countless experiences, good, bad, and ugly 😂... Made friends, had dates, had fun hangouts... Looking to chat with someone that would find interest in them as well as have their own stories to share
Hope to hear back from some fun people! 😁
submitted by set13tes to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 16:16 set13tes 37 [M4F] fun dating app stories

Bartender for 15 years with a lot of down time until the world goes back to normal... Miss engaging with people and having good conversation and sharing fun stories... Looking to find someone to chat with and have fun 😁
Hobbies: go out, bars, beach, sports, music, movies, darts, golf, gym, video games, etc...
Have spent many years on and off dating apps and have had countless experiences, good, bad, and ugly 😂... Made friends, had dates, had fun hangouts... Looking to chat with someone that would find interest in them as well as have their own stories to share!
Most of my downtime is weekday afternoons it seems, when most of the world is at work, so ideally someone free during those times or a completely different timezone (US Eastern)
Hope to hear back from some fun people! 😁
submitted by set13tes to Kikpals [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 13:50 Crayven90 How do I figure out, whether she's interested or not? If so, how do I continue?

Hello fellow redditors,
I would like to tell you my most recent dating (?) story and have the two questions in the title answered. I'm 30 and M, the woman in my story is 25ish (give or take a year). Let's call her Paula. We have a friend in common, who lives a couple of 100 kms away, is M and roughly the same age as Paula. Let's call him Joe.
Paula moved to the city at which I work half a year ago, roughly at the time we had the major lockdown due to Corona. This caused her not to find new friends or any kind of a bigger social circle and to stop doing sports (she's into sport, which allows one to socialise, like climbing with partners or acrobatics).
Joe asked me, (I'm into acrobatics myself) whether I could show Paula some tricks and train with her. Which I did. Paula and I trained, chitchatted and bantered during the breaks. Afterwards we shared 2 bottles of beer and chatted about her situation in life (what I told above), work, the past,... . Almost no topic was save in that hour. And I think I did feel the spark in that time. I also feel, like her eyes sparkled at me. So I think, there is some chemistry between the two of us. I haven't felt that much sympathy towards a person I just met in a long time.
After we parted ways, I catched the train home and wrote her a message. Like, I enjoyed that evening, had a lot of fun and telling her, that I would like the two of us to meet up again in the future. I also wrote, that I would like to do more then just train acrobatics with her. (From my point of view, I asked her out on a date or at least asked a preping question). (I know, kinda needy, but... Well, I've done it...)
She replied, that she had a lot of fun as well, that she arrived home, etc. But she didn't reply to meeting up, be it for training or something different (Besides of the big group-training hte next day, which she didn't attend due to a headache, she claims).
Since she neither rejected nor accepted, I'm not 100% sure what to think. Does she want more time to think? Did I scare her away with my to early request? Was it her way to turn me down, trying not to destroy a possible friendship?
After that, all we did was a bit of smalltalk via WhatsApp. And before anyone brings up, her possibly having a SO: Joe told me, she's single.

And some details about myself: I haven't had a relationship yet, never went on a real date (only a virtual one during the lockdown). So I do lack a lot of experience in romance.
submitted by Crayven90 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 10:02 A_Throwaway_2016 Are people just naturally gifted with good social skills for dating interactions? Please read more inside

I'm a 24 year old guy from a rust belt city and I've been on a total of 3 dates over the past 4-5 years. None of them have gotten past the fist date.
Conversely I know guys that have gotten much farther, much younger. Hell, maybe it didn't even involve a date. Maybe it was just at a party or something in high school. Back then I was the nerd/geek type, suffering from undiagnosed ADHD and social anxiety which persisted into college. Once I played a club sport in the upper class years and volunteered after college, my confidence rose, but motivation to date was still low.
Now at 24, I feel behind for my age, and the women that are 2-4 years younger can easily pick up on a lack of flirtatious humor or overly platonic banter whether it's on a date or over text. Which is why I don't stand a chance with someone closer to my age.
There are hundred of courses and endless hours of "pickup" and "game fundamentals" to talk to women, but is dating really that unintuitive? And why would I want to pay for knowledge that should be innate? I will never understand how my parents met in their teens in the 1970s... and then ask me why I haven't met anyone, or tease if I'm on my phone all the time because I'm talking to a girlfriend. No, I'm browsing /dating_advice wondering why the dating part of your genetics didn't get passed down to ME!
Take the conversation I had on Bumble as an example, as well as this response to see how it could have gone differently. She was already interested. I've never had enough practice to intuitively know dating strategies.
https://imgur.com/a/5tAZUYB/ https://i.imgur.com/Tqjgp13.jpg https://i.imgur.com/it5d5v2.jpg
At the end of the day, it's all mental gymnastics. When Tinder and Bumble are household names, what other options do you have? Sometimes I feel better just sitting here with nobody than getting a headache wondering how to beat the competition, app algorithms, my social circle size, and whether or not approaching a women in public (i.e. grocery store/Starbucks) is a wise idea in the 2020s.
submitted by A_Throwaway_2016 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 08:35 FYININJA I'm spending my birthday and my vacation alone in my apartment.

So I have a pretty stressful job. I work as a live in employee at a college campus. I was recently told I should take a vacation, due to the start of the semester being so stressful for everyone.
For some foundational information, I have a bad connection with my own birthday. Growing up I didn't have many friends. I had a few okay birthday parties, but most of my birthdays growing up, my family was too busy with sports (football) to show up, so I spent most of my birthdays with my mom and grandma. I grew up and moved away from home, and I've tried to hide my birthday.
Anyways sorry for rambling. I don't have hardly any friends or family that I really associate with. I have basically no friends that I could reasonably meet up with in person. I've spent my entire vacation in my apartment waiting for the few friends I have to be available so that I can play video games with them for an hour or two. I'm so miserable and want bad things to happen to me. I feel stuck in this situation. I'm in a job that I lucked into, I couldn't find a job remotely as nice as this if I decided to quit, I have no friends, to significant other, and I basically just work and sleep. It takes an enormous amount of effort for me to do the most basic of things. Even showering is a monumental effort for me. I go weeks at a time wearing the same dirty clothing hoping nobody notices, I eat out almost every night (usually through door dash so I don't have to leave my apartment). I don't have anybody to vent too anymore, my only friend I'm comfortable talking too is too busy to help me like they used too, they're in a relationship and moved in with their significant other and now I'm lucky if I can grab their attention for an hour or two every night,and I can tell they don't want to spend the night listening to me complain (which is reasonable). I've tried using dating apps for both dating and to make friends, but I can't get anybody to talk to me. Even ones who respond to me usually only talk to me for a few messages before they ghost me. I don't blame them, I always try to get them to talk about themselves in the hopes that they won't realize how lonely and pathetic I am, and I think they pick up pretty quickly that I'm useless.
I have already spent my week off on my couch, only going out to grab a few frozen grocery items so I can feel a little less bad about what I eat. No cake, no special dinner, I'll probably have 3 or 4 people with good memories tell me happy birthday if I'm lucky, and beyond that it'll be the same old day.
I'm in this bizarre spot where I wish my birthday just didn't exist. Nobody wants to celebrate it with me, and nobody ever has, so I would rather it just not exist. But it does, and I wish I had somebody who loved me to tell me happy birthday. I wish I had something to do on my vacation. I have plenty of money saved up, it's not even a matter of money. I just have nobody to do anything with. Nowhere to go. I don't even have friends I can crash with overnight. I've been sleeping on my couch to try to trick my brain into thinking that this week is any different from a normal week for me.
submitted by FYININJA to depression [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 07:04 Ablethegoat Found this in r/teenagers lol

Please somebody just read (trigger warning for some)
I want to warn you that this is going to be a long post so sorry in advance if you do decide to read it. I am a 14 year old boy, and I have severe depression. Let me start from the beginning. I was always the kid that was a gifted, smart child. The kind that would be one of the first to be done with a test. I had a wide friend group, and I really didn't have any beef with anyone. I always would help, even if I would get in trouble though. I would do others homework (I don't anymore, but I will still help), and wouldn't snitch at all. It's always been a policy of mine. As long as they aren't harming themselves or others, I don't care. I was always like this until 4th grade. That's around when I hit puberty. I had the basic stuff, having a crush and starting to learn more about the human body, and things like that. One day, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies on my computer, when I thought about my crush. Now, once I get thinking about something I am interested in or that I like, I won't stop unless something happens to get me out of that trance. Now, I was thinking about my crush and I wondered what women looked like naked. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. That has brought me down a porn addicted path in life, and I am trying so hard to quit, but I can't. I then learned what sex was and that was all I thought about. That started distracting me in class. Then I started getting self conscious. I started caring about my looks, hating how I look, etc;. I am just getting into 8th grade and my parents are just now starting to buy me things like Hollister and AE, which I find annoying since I have friends that have been having those clothes since 5th grade. And it's not like we are scrounging for cash either. My 6 year old brother is getting better stuff than I did at his age, and my parents act like I was nothing different than him. Now I get that he is different, being that when I was his age, my dad went to Afghanistan for 2 years, so I had a lot more Mom time than he does. They constantly compare me to him, saying that I was never that good at that at his age, or that he is doing soooo good where I do poorly. Then when I compare myself to him, they say "It's like comparing apples to oranges." I know that is bullshit because I know he is the favorite child by how they treated me at his age. I was let watch only 6 episodes of my shows, while he gets to watch whatever the hell he wants, for however long he wants. I would get 30 minutes of video games a day. He doesn't have a time limit. I had that time limit until I was 11. He never has. The worst part about this is when I bought my Nintendo switch in fall 2018, my parents said that I had to let my brother play on it when he wants to, or they would take it from me. I paid for the whole damn thing. Now all he does is hog the system and I rarely get a chance to play it. I saw that altogether I have 300 hours of gaming on it. My brother however, has 2500 hours of gaming on it. While I do understand that some of that is because I play more PS4 than Nintendo now, I still find that to be dumb. They only recently let me start gaming more because I "started to show interest in gaming" when I bought my switch. I have over 900 hours of minecraft on my PS3. I play Destiny 2, and if you play that, you know that you could barely get a raid encounter done in 2 hours with a dysfunctional raid team. I've resorted to sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to play it so I can be mediocre compared to others. The call me a "Gaming addict" and threaten to prevent me from gaming if I can't "Regulate my time" on video games. I also just got my first phone in july last year, compared to my friends who got their first ones in 4th grade. And with that phone, I am heavily locked down. No youtube, no tik tok, snapchat, instagram, twitter, facebook, twitter, pintrest, no downloading apps without their permission, a google search safeguard, and I must have my location on at all times. I barely can keep up with my friends when all they do is post on social media about what they are doing. That has socially stunted me so fucking much that I don't have a clue what trends are going, popular music, who all is popular at school, famous people, or have many friends.
So, getting back to my grade and school advancement, my 4th grade teacher was terrible. Not a bad person, quite likable to be honest, but she never prepared us for middle school. I could count on one hand the amount of times we had homework or tests. Once I got into 5th grade, it was like I got hit by a truck. My new teacher was the reading, LA, and science teacher for the "Gifted team". Boy did he have the expectations for us. We were righting essays 2 weeks into school. My mom said that she didn't do some of the stuff we were doing until she was in 9th grade. I suddenly had so much pressure on me, as I could just skate by, doing the bare minimum in K-4th, but in his class, the bare minimum was the best we could do. And this school was the convergence of 5 different elementary schools in our district, and I came from the smallest so I barely knew anybody. Somehow, most kids knew each other, so I was the odd one out. I started failing assignments and forgetting to do homework. And my parents are the kind that flip their shit if I get a C+ or a B-. All the while I am getting compared to other peoples kids, and how I could better myself. This started my path into depression. I luckily got my first new friend in tech ed (Thank You Mr. Lytle), and we hit it off like this.
Me - "Uh... Hi
Her - "Um hello. What's your name?"
Me - "Garret, whats yours"
Her - "Izzy.(fake name) Do you like Anime?"
Me - "Oh yeah I do"
And that began my introduction into that friend group. Looking back, it was one of the best times in my life being in that friend group, and I would give anything to get the group together again. I was toxic as a 10 year old though, looking back. I don't even know how they could stand me at all. Now Izzy is a person who was sexually assaulted and raped throughout her life, and I was an insolent asshole who would make jokes about it. I guess she tolerated it throughout 5th and early 6th. I don't know why. Maybe because she saw me as a good person at heart and I just don't understand people properly, but I don't know why. My friend group consisted of Izzy, Meredith, James, and periodically a few others but they never lasted long with us. We had a little book thing going where Izzy was writing a story, and Meredith and I were doing out own story. We started out with just creating a character of our own for Izzy's book, but then we ended up taking up our characters' stories in our own books. I never really got into it, so I basically went and let Izzy do what she wanted with him. She said she had the books chapters on Tumblr, but she never showed it to us nor told us how to find it. Sometimes I doubt she even wrote it, more as we just had out own little universe with our characters and their mingled stories. Anyways, once I got into 6th grade, Izzy had enough with my rape jokes. She and the others started ignoring me when I talked, and never started conversations with me. After about a week of this, I had enough and asked them why the fuck they were doing this. They then proceeded to lecture me about how I was toxic and that I needed to leave this table and find somewhere else to sit and people to hang out with. Luckily my bro Nathan let me have a seat at his lunch table, though I never really became friends with anyone there. Things went downhill fast from there. Instead of trying to pick my self up and apologize and be the better man here, I went down a path of cutting and drinking. I have managed to hide most of my scars, but some are still there. The only thing that really saved me from suicide in that time was music. NF was a big part of that. His music was like he was reaching out a hand to me saying "Hey, I am like you, I want to help" and guided me with his music. Eventually during gym class, Izzy came up to me and apologized for giving me the silent treatment and invited me back to their table. Things began looking up from there. I began to stop drinking, and slowed down with cutting. I eventually even got a girlfriend. Now let me get started on this shit.
Her name was Kylie, and she meant the world to me. We dated for 2 weeks before I told any of my friends. That was when Nathan and Zach sat me down to give me some backstory on her. According to them, she cheated on everyone she dated. I didn't want to listen to them, and started ignoring their warnings, and that was a huge mistake. We went to Kennywood for our schools day with Me, Kylie, her twin, Hayley, Nathan, and Kalee. Now during this one ride, the bigger person goes on the outside part of the coaster cart. When we got to the part where it hits a sharp bend, she "lost her seatbelt and ended up on my lap". Lucky me had a goddamn fucking boner at the time and I most definitely believe she felt it, that night, I called her and we did an all nighter with her talking about each other. Altogether I learned a whole new side of her. We ended up wanting to hold hands, hug, and kiss and all of that good stuff but the most we did was held hands because of my parents always checking in on us every 5 minutes when she was at my house, and we couldn't at hers because her house has cameras everywhere. Thats when my relationship went to shit. She got distant, and she would always hang out with other male friends instead of me. Then we broke up because I was "trying to not let her have male friends and I was being controlling" Ended up she was cheating with 4 of them. Yeah. She had an 8 person dating octagon apparently (she was Bi). Nobody knew. So I decided to go undercover and get a fake phone number. It worked. I pretended to be my cousin and I asked some questions. Apparently she trusted him more after 5 minutes of knowing "him" so I asked her why she cheated. Apparently I didn't give her enough attention. Apparently not holding hands every time we see a glimpse for each other was reason to cheat. And then she made some bullshit excuse that I abused her and shit so I shut that down instantly. She then apparently did some shit talk about me on tik tok and instagram, so I had my friends disprove that.
Now onto my second Gf. Hayley. She was a tomboy of sorts. She wasn't transgender in any way, just liked sports more, liked to wrestle, and has short hair, but she was a girl to the core. We had something great going on until she broke up with me saying that she heard rumours that I lie. She believed what others said about me and were rumours. I then got the truth that she just liked someone else. I'm still friends with her currently.
So now currently I have just moved away from when I used to go, so I have no friends here, I haven't heard from Izzy or James in 7 months, I talk to Meredith still. I am failing 3 classes right now due to technical problems. My parents are threatening me with millitary school, where I would have no PS4, no Phone, no music, no way to let my anger out, no friends to text for a whole fucking year. If they do that, I swear I will do some petty shit like not mail them back if they mail me or not contact them for the whole year except for my brother. I love that little shit to death. I am currently a 9/10 on the depression scale, cutting again. starting to vape, and I haven't had a girlfriend for a whole year as of today, and that is depressing the shit out of me. Can anyone give me advice on how to get a new GF? Or at least some new friends and how to better myself?
PS I will try to attach screenshots of my ex's chat with me as my cousin if possible.
submitted by Ablethegoat to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 06:59 SadWeebBoy Please somebody just read (trigger warning for some)

(edit) I'm sorry for formatting I wrote this at 2 am so I'm tired
I want to warn you that this is going to be a long post so sorry in advance if you do decide to read it. I am a 14 year old boy, and I have severe depression. Let me start from the beginning. I was always the kid that was a gifted, smart child. The kind that would be one of the first to be done with a test. I had a wide friend group, and I really didn't have any beef with anyone. I always would help, even if I would get in trouble though. I would do others homework (I don't anymore, but I will still help), and wouldn't snitch at all. It's always been a policy of mine. As long as they aren't harming themselves or others, I don't care. I was always like this until 4th grade. That's around when I hit puberty. I had the basic stuff, having a crush and starting to learn more about the human body, and things like that. One day, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies on my computer, when I thought about my crush. Now, once I get thinking about something I am interested in or that I like, I won't stop unless something happens to get me out of that trance. Now, I was thinking about my crush and I wondered what women looked like naked. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. That has brought me down a porn addicted path in life, and I am trying so hard to quit, but I can't. I then learned what sex was and that was all I thought about. That started distracting me in class. Then I started getting self conscious. I started caring about my looks, hating how I look, etc;. I am just getting into 8th grade and my parents are just now starting to buy me things like Hollister and AE, which I find annoying since I have friends that have been having those clothes since 5th grade. And it's not like we are scrounging for cash either. My 6 year old brother is getting better stuff than I did at his age, and my parents act like I was nothing different than him. Now I get that he is different, being that when I was his age, my dad went to Afghanistan for 2 years, so I had a lot more Mom time than he does. They constantly compare me to him, saying that I was never that good at that at his age, or that he is doing soooo good where I do poorly. Then when I compare myself to him, they say "It's like comparing apples to oranges." I know that is bullshit because I know he is the favorite child by how they treated me at his age. I was let watch only 6 episodes of my shows, while he gets to watch whatever the hell he wants, for however long he wants. I would get 30 minutes of video games a day. He doesn't have a time limit. I had that time limit until I was 11. He never has. The worst part about this is when I bought my Nintendo switch in fall 2018, my parents said that I had to let my brother play on it when he wants to, or they would take it from me. I paid for the whole damn thing. Now all he does is hog the system and I rarely get a chance to play it. I saw that altogether I have 300 hours of gaming on it. My brother however, has 2500 hours of gaming on it. While I do understand that some of that is because I play more PS4 than Nintendo now, I still find that to be dumb. They only recently let me start gaming more because I "started to show interest in gaming" when I bought my switch. I have over 900 hours of minecraft on my PS3. I play Destiny 2, and if you play that, you know that you could barely get a raid encounter done in 2 hours with a dysfunctional raid team. I've resorted to sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to play it so I can be mediocre compared to others. The call me a "Gaming addict" and threaten to prevent me from gaming if I can't "Regulate my time" on video games. I also just got my first phone in july last year, compared to my friends who got their first ones in 4th grade. And with that phone, I am heavily locked down. No youtube, no tik tok, snapchat, instagram, twitter, facebook, twitter, pintrest, no downloading apps without their permission, a google search safeguard, and I must have my location on at all times. I barely can keep up with my friends when all they do is post on social media about what they are doing. That has socially stunted me so fucking much that I don't have a clue what trends are going, popular music, who all is popular at school, famous people, or have many friends.
So, getting back to my grade and school advancement, my 4th grade teacher was terrible. Not a bad person, quite likable to be honest, but she never prepared us for middle school. I could count on one hand the amount of times we had homework or tests. Once I got into 5th grade, it was like I got hit by a truck. My new teacher was the reading, LA, and science teacher for the "Gifted team". Boy did he have the expectations for us. We were righting essays 2 weeks into school. My mom said that she didn't do some of the stuff we were doing until she was in 9th grade. I suddenly had so much pressure on me, as I could just skate by, doing the bare minimum in K-4th, but in his class, the bare minimum was the best we could do. And this school was the convergence of 5 different elementary schools in our district, and I came from the smallest so I barely knew anybody. Somehow, most kids knew each other, so I was the odd one out. I started failing assignments and forgetting to do homework. And my parents are the kind that flip their shit if I get a C+ or a B-. All the while I am getting compared to other peoples kids, and how I could better myself. This started my path into depression. I luckily got my first new friend in tech ed (Thank You Mr. Lytle), and we hit it off like this.
Me - "Uh... Hi
Her - "Um hello. What's your name?"
Me - "Garret, whats yours"
Her - "Izzy.(fake name) Do you like Anime?"
Me - "Oh yeah I do"
And that began my introduction into that friend group. Looking back, it was one of the best times in my life being in that friend group, and I would give anything to get the group together again. I was toxic as a 10 year old though, looking back. I don't even know how they could stand me at all. Now Izzy is a person who was sexually assaulted and raped throughout her life, and I was an insolent asshole who would make jokes about it. I guess she tolerated it throughout 5th and early 6th. I don't know why. Maybe because she saw me as a good person at heart and I just don't understand people properly, but I don't know why. My friend group consisted of Izzy, Meredith, James, and periodically a few others but they never lasted long with us. We had a little book thing going where Izzy was writing a story, and Meredith and I were doing out own story. We started out with just creating a character of our own for Izzy's book, but then we ended up taking up our characters' stories in our own books. I never really got into it, so I basically went and let Izzy do what she wanted with him. She said she had the books chapters on Tumblr, but she never showed it to us nor told us how to find it. Sometimes I doubt she even wrote it, more as we just had out own little universe with our characters and their mingled stories. Anyways, once I got into 6th grade, Izzy had enough with my rape jokes. She and the others started ignoring me when I talked, and never started conversations with me. After about a week of this, I had enough and asked them why the fuck they were doing this. They then proceeded to lecture me about how I was toxic and that I needed to leave this table and find somewhere else to sit and people to hang out with. Luckily my bro Nathan let me have a seat at his lunch table, though I never really became friends with anyone there. Things went downhill fast from there. Instead of trying to pick my self up and apologize and be the better man here, I went down a path of cutting and drinking. I have managed to hide most of my scars, but some are still there. The only thing that really saved me from suicide in that time was music. NF was a big part of that. His music was like he was reaching out a hand to me saying "Hey, I am like you, I want to help" and guided me with his music. Eventually during gym class, Izzy came up to me and apologized for giving me the silent treatment and invited me back to their table. Things began looking up from there. I began to stop drinking, and slowed down with cutting. I eventually even got a girlfriend. Now let me get started on this shit.
Her name was Kylie, and she meant the world to me. We dated for 2 weeks before I told any of my friends. That was when Nathan and Zach sat me down to give me some backstory on her. According to them, she cheated on everyone she dated. I didn't want to listen to them, and started ignoring their warnings, and that was a huge mistake. We went to Kennywood for our schools day with Me, Kylie, her twin, Hayley, Nathan, and Kalee. Now during this one ride, the bigger person goes on the outside part of the coaster cart. When we got to the part where it hits a sharp bend, she "lost her seatbelt and ended up on my lap". Lucky me had a goddamn fucking boner at the time and I most definitely believe she felt it, that night, I called her and we did an all nighter with her talking about each other. Altogether I learned a whole new side of her. We ended up wanting to hold hands, hug, and kiss and all of that good stuff but the most we did was held hands because of my parents always checking in on us every 5 minutes when she was at my house, and we couldn't at hers because her house has cameras everywhere. Thats when my relationship went to shit. She got distant, and she would always hang out with other male friends instead of me. Then we broke up because I was "trying to not let her have male friends and I was being controlling" Ended up she was cheating with 4 of them. Yeah. She had an 8 person dating octagon apparently (she was Bi). Nobody knew. So I decided to go undercover and get a fake phone number. It worked. I pretended to be my cousin and I asked some questions. Apparently she trusted him more after 5 minutes of knowing "him" so I asked her why she cheated. Apparently I didn't give her enough attention. Apparently not holding hands every time we see a glimpse for each other was reason to cheat. And then she made some bullshit excuse that I abused her and shit so I shut that down instantly. She then apparently did some shit talk about me on tik tok and instagram, so I had my friends disprove that.
Now onto my second Gf. Hayley. She was a tomboy of sorts. She wasn't transgender in any way, just liked sports more, liked to wrestle, and has short hair, but she was a girl to the core. We had something great going on until she broke up with me saying that she heard rumours that I lie. She believed what others said about me and were rumours. I then got the truth that she just liked someone else. I'm still friends with her currently.
So now currently I have just moved away from when I used to go, so I have no friends here, I haven't heard from Izzy or James in 7 months, I talk to Meredith still. I am failing 3 classes right now due to technical problems. My parents are threatening me with millitary school, where I would have no PS4, no Phone, no music, no way to let my anger out, no friends to text for a whole fucking year. If they do that, I swear I will do some petty shit like not mail them back if they mail me or not contact them for the whole year except for my brother. I love that little shit to death. I am currently a 9/10 on the depression scale, cutting again. starting to vape, and I haven't had a girlfriend for a whole year as of today, and that is depressing the shit out of me. Can anyone give me advice on how to get a new GF? Or at least some new friends and how to better myself?
PS I will try to attach screenshots of my ex's chat with me as my cousin if possible.
submitted by SadWeebBoy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


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submitted by multiversekid to shoppingbay [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 03:56 throwRA99550099 Being happy for a friend when in reality you’re not that happy about it...

Hey Everyone.
My best friend of the last 5 years and I are both male, he is 25 I am 30. We became friends through sport, both football and basketball and have become housemates for the past 4 years.
In that entire time living with him he never brought girls over, dated or really talked about girls that much. I suspect maybe he was like me and was bi without much real desire to start a romantic relationship.
Over time we really just did everything together. Spoke every day, hung out, went on holiday together. I really started to love him, despite the fact we had no romantic involvement. I would bring up relationships and girls but he just never seemed that interested. I suspected he was straight but thought maybe deep down he just liked our close friendship and like me was happy with this.
6 months ago he met a girl and they really hit it off. She is 18 and gradually over the past few months they’ve gone from casually fucking on the weekends to her staying here half the week and pretty much he exclusively hangs out with her. We’ve started gradually seeing each other less, speaking less and she comes before her. The only time he and I are both free is mid week and I suspect eventually she’ll be over longer and more often. He has his own life and other things to do in the week when he’s not with her, so it’s rare we spend any time together any more.
Before she came along we’d talked about buying a house together, investing in a business together and travelling more... I feel like that’s all out the window now...
Truly and honestly I am feeling so broken and hurt by this. It feels like I have broken up with him but at the same time I know we never had that kind of romantic relationship. I just know that as he grows more attached to her, I will see him less and less and all the things we once did as friends, like hanging out, going on holiday together etc. will be replaced by her doing it with him instead.
I’ve tried hanging with other people, dating other people and that kind of stuff but I feel so attached to him still that I can’t seem to enjoy it anywhere near as much. I’ve withdrawn from dating apps as I know my hearts not in it and a casual fling doesn’t really interest me.
This is all made even more complicated that I live with him, so when she comes over and I see them together I feel even sadder.
I know the easy option may be to just cut ties and walk away. But I really want to make the effort to be cool with it, accept it and remain friends. I think I’ll always love him, but I miss our friendship and the closeness we once shared. I feel so lost in life now it’s like everything I knew and hoped for has gone out the window.
Does anyone have any advice of what I can do? Has anyone out there been through similar?
I’ve tried to become friendly with her as well but there’s such an age gap. Her friends are all 18. I feel weird going and hanging out with girls that young. If I ask about her he says very little. It’s like he doesn’t really want me to get to know her at all. But I know he’s crazy about her and falling in love. I want him to be happy and can understand that happiness I likely can’t ever provide him. I just feel like losing him all together would hurt even more. Any advice or input appreciated. Thank you.
submitted by throwRA99550099 to self [link] [comments]


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  10. 30 vs 1: Dating App in Real Life Versus 1 - YouTube

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